By
“My grandfather was my teacher
His lessons focused on teaching me how to make O’s with cigarette smoke and pray
He’d warn me the only way to fail is if I don’t participate
As long as my teacher was pleased and never complained
My parents never asked what I learned in school
Frequently my grandfather would test me on my skills
I needed to make him proud
Show me how to pray, he’d say
I’d get down on my knees like he instructed in every private lesson
Show me your O. Suck it in, and then blow, he’d encourage
Surely I’ve seen him pray
So what we did must’ve been holy
I knew, as a Muslim I am submissive to the One above
And it made sense why my grandfather stood over me
I learned to be naked to who I pray to
In order to receive his grace within me
So here I am years later, still praying
The only way I was taught how to”
— poem by Anonymous
His lessons focused on teaching me how to make O’s with cigarette smoke and pray
He’d warn me the only way to fail is if I don’t participate
As long as my teacher was pleased and never complained
My parents never asked what I learned in school
Frequently my grandfather would test me on my skills
I needed to make him proud
Show me how to pray, he’d say
I’d get down on my knees like he instructed in every private lesson
Show me your O. Suck it in, and then blow, he’d encourage
Surely I’ve seen him pray
So what we did must’ve been holy
I knew, as a Muslim I am submissive to the One above
And it made sense why my grandfather stood over me
I learned to be naked to who I pray to
In order to receive his grace within me
So here I am years later, still praying
The only way I was taught how to”
— poem by Anonymous
My mother beats me constantly and it has lead to my anxiety and depression. The physical, mental, emotional, and verbal abuse has made me suicidal, and she often times will use Islam as a flawed, desperate excuse for the beatings if she gets called out on it by others, or makes me hate the religion at times by having me think the quran allows her to hit me, nit her flawed view of it
This is so sad, especially because of how the religion is being misused in order to abuse you. You don’t deserve to be treated like this, least of all by your own mother. I know it’s not easy, but try to remember that this is NOT your fault. Please consider calling the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255) or texting Crisis Text Line (741741) when you are feeling overwhelmed or having suicidal thoughts. Also, please feel free to email me at bessma59@gmail.com to talk more about this. You’re not alone.