By “Growing up, religion was basically shoved down my throat in the worst way possible. Anytime I screwed up, or did something my parents didn’t like, I was told I was going to Hell. I was abused physically as well, and emotionally in other ways.
When I try, I just don’t feel the connection that others seem to have with Islam or Allah (SWT). It’s hard to unlearn something that traumatized me during my childhood.
My feelings about God and Islam were severely damaged, to the extent that I still haven’t recovered today. I am still unable to live by Islam in the way that I wish I could. When I try, I just don’t feel the connection that others seem to have with Islam or Allah (SWT). It’s hard to unlearn something that traumatized me during my childhood — the idea that God is vengeful, unforgiving, and out to get me.
Religious abuse in my childhood has scarred me.”
My mother beats me constantly and it has lead to my anxiety and depression. The physical, mental, emotional, and verbal abuse has made me suicidal, and she often times will use Islam as a flawed, desperate excuse for the beatings if she gets called out on it by others, or makes me hate the religion at times by having me think the quran allows her to hit me, nit her flawed view of it
This is so sad, especially because of how the religion is being misused in order to abuse you. You don’t deserve to be treated like this, least of all by your own mother. I know it’s not easy, but try to remember that this is NOT your fault. Please consider calling the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255) or texting Crisis Text Line (741741) when you are feeling overwhelmed or having suicidal thoughts. Also, please feel free to email me at bessma59@gmail.com to talk more about this. You’re not alone.