By “You met your husband in college when you were 20? That’s so great! What’s it like to be married to your best friend?”
I’m not sure why everyone jumps to the conclusion that my husband is my best friend. He’s not.
My best friends are my college girlfriends who I’ve shared countless laughs, tears, and memories with. Our tight-knit group has weathered the ups and downs of life – graduations, marriages, heartbreaks, moves, etc. There are no greater friends in the world, and God knows how grateful I am for their constant support and presence in my life.
I don’t count my husband among this group though. I don’t think he’d consider me his best friend either.
We’ve been blessed in our lives to find and connect with people over shared interests. He has his boys, I have my girls, and we are both fiercely protective of our time with them. I think there is a shared understanding between us that our outside friendships are needed to rejuvenate and relax us when the stresses of life get to be too much.
We’ve been blessed in our lives to find and connect with people over shared interests. He has his boys, I have my girls, and we are both fiercely protective of our time with them. I think there is a shared understanding between us that our outside friendships are needed to rejuvenate and relax us when the stresses of life get to be too much.
We had (and have) very little in common. He’s an extroverted, basketball-loving, small-talking, doctor-in-the-making. On the other hand, I’m an introvert who would rather curl up on the couch with a book than have a night on the town. He talks to everyone – waiters, cab drivers, barbers, random people on the elevator, etc. Conversely, I shrink into corners and purposefully avoid eye contact lest someone try to initiate conversation with me.
We’ll never be able to sit down and have a conversation about Snape as an anti-hero, or how this is a rebuilding year for the Lakers. He doesn’t understand why I cry just thinking about Fred Weasley’s last moments, and I wasn’t able to understand why he was curled up in the fetal position watching Kobe’s last game.
But he’s my greatest supporter and encourages me to follow my dreams, wherever they might lead me. And while I’ll never share his passion for medicine and the human body, I treasure the nights I’ve stayed up to quiz him for exams. In all the years we’ve been together, our interests have rarely aligned, but we have had no problem stepping into one another’s lane for a couple of hours to share in the joy.
There is no one I spend more time with than my husband – and because of that, leaving him for a short period of time to connect with my girls allows me to come back to him armed with stories to tell and insightful conversations.
There is no one I spend more time with than my husband – and because of that, leaving him for a short period of time to connect with my girls allows me to come back to him armed with stories to tell and insightful conversations.
He doesn’t know every thought in my head, and we have never been able to finish each other’s’ sentences. And I’m so grateful. Having someone attached to my hip would suffocate me and ruin our relationship. We have each brought our own unique quirks and interests into this relationship – some we can agree on, many we can’t, and all that make our marriage more interesting and fulfilling.
“I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend…”
No, John Mayer, I’m lucky I’m in love with my husband. And I couldn’t ask for anything greater, alhamdulillah (all praises due to God).
Contributed by Anam Javed