Getting married is a huge decision that alters the course of your life forever. The interesting part is that planning for an Islamic wedding is a journey of its own, perfecting every single element of the wedding from the venue, and outfits, to gifts and cultural occasions.
That’s why wedding planners are making so much money from such high demand, knowing their expertise and their way around arranging the ideal wedding from top to bottom, from the beginning to the end!
What constitutes an ideal Muslim wedding?
An ideal Muslim wedding can vary greatly depending on the personal preferences and cultural traditions of both parties, the bride and groom. However, some of the most essential elements that may constitute an ideal Muslim wedding include:
The flow of the ceremony
At the end of the day, all newlyweds want the flow of the ceremony to be as smooth as butter. No mishaps, no hiccups. Everything is going as planned, from start to finish.
Nothing beats a well-organized and enjoyable reception, and that includes tantalizing food, appropriate music, and entertainment where guests can celebrate the joy of the newlyweds.
The last thing any married couple would want is to be riddled with debt right at the beginning of their marriage life. If they are able to work around a budget that works for them while still getting their ideal wedding, it would be mostly ideal!
Every individual is raised differently and is proud to showcase their cultural heritage and tradition in a wedding ceremony. For instance, Muslim Indian weddings may have additional nuptial ceremonies like the haldi ceremony and the mehndi party.
In Arab weddings, on the other hand, there is one popular folk dance called “Dabke” performed by professional dancers and then the wedding guests. It all varies according to ethnicities and cultures, and to blend in both cultures in a wedding ceremony would definitely have a ‘wow’ effect!
Abiding by Islamic injunctions
The key is moderation and as long as Islamic values are respected, this is the ultimate definition of an ideal Muslim wedding.
Finally, it would be ideal to ensure that guests feel welcomed and appreciated. This can greatly enhance the overall atmosphere.
The dos and don’ts of planning an Islamic wedding
In this article, we will navigate you through a list of dos and don’ts based on our interviews with several couples who have had their fair share of experience planning weddings. At the end of this piece, we pray that Allah Almighty eases your affairs in planning the perfect wedding, Ameen.
1. Plan ahead, and we mean AHEAD
Yes, you might’ve met your soulmate the ‘love at first sight’ and you want to settle right away. Well, realistically speaking, it is much harder to plan a wedding on short notice rather than planning ahead. Planning ahead means at least a year before the big day, so you may have to play the ‘patient’ game if you want a successful wedding plan with little to no stress.
2. Get organized and get a to-do list
Things will get overwhelming pretty quickly if you don’t start organizing on your first day of planning. Especially in some cultures with a few days of ceremonies, parties and other nuptial events that can be extremely exhausting, your to-do list will be your closest friend.
3. Know your rights and establish authority
One day, you may feel you’re the one in charge, but it can be easy for people to take control of your wedding choices and preferences. From simple details like flower bouquets to major decisions like wedding venues.
Be mindful of your authority. Speak up and say what you want and don’t want. This is your time to shine and build the ideal wedding of your dreams. Don’t forget to delegate tasks to people you trust!
4. Involve both parties in the discussion of the wedding
Whether the wedding ceremony is to be held on the bride’s side, the groom’s side, or both, it is encouraged for both parties to be involved in discussions to keep updated on the progress. We don’t want any parties to be left out or miss key details of the event.
5. Work within a budget you’re comfortable with
In some cultures, organizing grand weddings is a symbol of wealth and status, but you shouldn’t let culture dictate your life and ruin your happiness for eternity.
It is best to discuss with your future spouse a budget that both parties are willing to spend. Yes, it is a night or a moment to remember, but ask yourself, is it worth spending that much and having none left to start a new life with your partner?
6. Find a middle ground when disputes happen
Yes, you might like the coral pink theme but he likes navy blue. He likes the grand chandelier, but you like to keep it simple. Everybody is wired to have different tastes and preferences, and nobody is wrong.
If disputes do happen during the planning stage, it’s best to compromise and find a middle ground where it works in both favors.
7. Think through whom you’d like to invite to your wedding
Yes, 500 pax sounds like a lot of people, but when you break it down according to family, friends, and colleagues, you’ll find that the seats are getting full very quickly.
You would also have to consider the consequences of leaving some people out of your list. It’s all something that needs to be thought carefully.
8. Add essential Islamic elements to your wedding
Essentials like du’as for the newlyweds, Islamic music, and even following the Sunnah of weddings are a huge thing in the eyes of Allah Almighty.
Sunnahs like giving away food to the poor, not neglecting obligatory prayers, and even planning Nikah in a mosque.
9. Keep family drama at bay
Having a happy family is indeed every child’s dream but unfortunately, it is not something that every child has. If you’re stuck in a dysfunctional family, it is best to discuss with your partner how you’d like to approach this.
If you feel like your family members or relatives are likely to cause chaos in front of people or may cause the wedding to fail miserably, it would be ideal to leave them out of your invitation list.
However, you could compensate by talking to them and letting them know about your big news before the ceremony happens.
There’s a likelihood that they would feel hurt and left out, but you should ask yourself if having them over is worth the risk and act upon your judgment.
1. Do all of it on your own
As much as you’re in charge and think you could do it all alone because you trust the quality you put out, it is not realistic to do everything on your own.
You will have to get a few people involved in your wedding plans and delegate essential tasks to make it work. Don’t micromanage, and seek help when you need to!
2. Mix the wedding with elements of haram
Again, moderation is key and you would want to organize the best wedding in the eyes of Allah Almighty and the people attending your wedding.
Don’t make it difficult for your guests, but don’t neglect Allah’s commandments on what’s forbidden, such as intoxication of alcohol, food with haram ingredients, and more.
3. Waste food and money
The Prophet (PBUH) said, “If a morsel of food falls on the floor, then wipe off any filth and eat it. Do not leave it for the Devil.” 1
Try your best to avoid waste as much as possible. Don’t over-order and end up wasting food and money. Try your best to estimate or wrap up the leftover food to give it away to the poor.
4. Change plans last minute unless necessary
Having a backup plan is essential, but to change plans entirely or suddenly thinking that your first choice wasn’t the best is not ideal, especially in the final hours before the big day.
If you have the intense urge to change plans, it is best to figure out the smart and best course of action rather than ditching your initial plan entirely.
5. Let your team’s effort go unnoticed
Planning a wedding is already a tiring feat on its own, and execution may be just as hard, if not, harder. You require labor to pack gift bags, arrange flowers, decorate the venue, and more.
In tiring moments like this, it is always encouraged for you to acknowledge their efforts by treating them to good food, and shopping and if it’s not within your budget, you could even give them a compliment! Compliments go a long way.
At the end of the day, everyone wants to organize a successful wedding, and it all comes down to proper planning and execution.
This huge feat requires teamwork, and we pray that Allah Almighty makes it easy for you to execute this huge event with success, Insha’Allah!
- Muslim, “Riyad as-Salihin,” no. 750; “Sunan Ibn Majah,” no. 3279; “Sunan Abi Dawud,” no. 3845, graded as “authentic” by Al-Albani. ↩︎