In a world full of dreamers of wedding bells and perfect wedding dresses, there seems to be an overall consensus about which months are perfect for weddings. Within my clique, that month did not coincide with the proximity of Ramadan. In fact, I heard, “Don’t get married right before or during Ramadan,” more times than I can count.
Having said that, I got married about two weeks before Ramadan in July 2012. I always wanted a summer wedding, and that month just worked for me. Many people thought we were crazy for doing so. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “Oh my God, that’s going to suck.” Why? Well… never mind that. We all know what they were getting at. I’d go into detail, but since it is the holy month of Ramadan, I’ll let you figure it out after you break your fast – not before.
Personally, I still wonder why people make such a big deal about the timing. Ramadan is such a beautiful month. You can just feel the serenity in the air. It’s also filled with blessings and opportunities to strengthen your faith. Aside from that, introducing each other to one another’s “hanger” episodes early on has it’s benefits. For example, you’ll gain a whole lot of patience. Believe me!
Our first Ramadan together was definitely a learning experience. From staying up late to waking up super early – to convincing each other that, “Yes, IHOP at 3 AM is a great idea!” because we both share a love for pancakes drizzled with all the syrup and butter we could get our hands on. Oh, and a side of french fries, because why not?
For those who might think that Ramadan means no romance, think again. What’s more romantic than waking up for suhoor together (complete with messy hair and pajamas) stuffing your faces with dates, chugging as much water as you can, and starting the day by praying together?
Not to mention breaking our fast together and then rushing to get our favorite coffees before all the shops close, because the one thing worse than a “hanger” is caffeine withdrawal.
Five years later, and much of that is still the same for us. Experiencing Ramadan at the start of your marriage is the perfect opportunity to bond and establish traditions for your new family. Ramadan is also a great time for you and your spouse to form new habits together. Whether it’s waking up early together, praying together, or cooking together, you are creating traditions and bonds that will hopefully last a lifetime.
My husband and I learned so much about each other during that first month and I definitely think, being that it was Ramadan, it really helped steer us onto the path we’re on now. It can be a time where rather than focusing on worldly things such (which can be totally normal when you’re starting a new life together), you are spending time building your relationship as a couple with Allah (SWT.) It can be a time where you both learn about each other while devoting time for worship. It can be a time where your supplications for a bright future together are made as a couple and you feel the bond in making them together. And, it can be a time where you give thanks to Allah (SWT) for gifting you a partner who hopefully understands you, uplifts you, and makes you a better you.
Having said that, I can tell you from experience that it’s not going to suck if you get married right before or during Ramadan. It can be a great start to your journey of forever, with a side of hanger and a whole lot of love.