Marriage in one’s 30s was once considered a trend, as women were encouraged to establish their careers and explore personal growth during their 20s, only contemplating settling down with a partner later.
However, a shift occurred, notably accentuated by the onset of the Covid-19 pandemic. People found themselves confined within their own spaces, cut off from social interactions with peers, colleagues, and loved ones. This new way of life prompted couples who had been separated for extended periods to opt for marriage to reunite and face the pandemic together.
Of course, many other reasons couples decide to settle down at a young age exist. Let’s explore them below:
To avoid committing sins
Nadine, a young girl who decided to get married early, explained that her primary reason for settling down was to avoid committing sins. In an age of temptations and distractions, couples can easily engage in moral indecency, especially when boundaries are not set. It could start simply as holding hands, but the more we engage in minor sins, the more likely they are to escalate into major ones.
SOME COUPLES CAN’T DO LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS (LDR)
When you can’t bear to be away from them, MARRY them! Some couples resort to this decision when the agonizing distance is painfully separating apart for a long time.
Nadine said that she just couldn’t deal with LDR since her husband and her were about 200 km away from each other. They could only see each other once every few months, so the solution to this issue was as easy as getting married and settling down together.
Couples took advantage of the restricted SOPs during Covid-19
Before the pandemic, it was a trend to host extravagant weddings, invite countless amounts of guests, and generally spend a lot. In fact, the grander the wedding, the better.
However, that trend quickly stopped once the pandemic took place, leaving people no choice but to abandon their cultural traditions of organizing grand weddings. Strict SOPs took place when it came to wedding events.
In many countries, you could not host large gatherings or invite more than a handful of guests. Once people started to share their stories on how easy and cheap it was to get married during the pandemic, other people followed suit, especially the younglings.
Imagine saving so much money and hosting a private event just for you and your family. What better way to host a personal wedding on a budget?
AN ESCAPE FROM A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY
Some children are born into healthy families, fostering positive and respectful relationships with parents and siblings. However, a majority of children don’t feel the same way.
In an interview, Halimah shared her story of wanting to run away from her family due to depression and not feeling wanted by her family. However, she didn’t want to disappoint her family by telling them she no longer wanted to live with them. When the idea of marriage crossed her mind, she knew exactly what to do.
When Halimah found the love of her life, she did not waste time. Her decision to get married young was the right thing to do for her and her husband. The marriage led her to find her moment of peace and enabled her to focus on her own little family. She escaped the household circumstances that led to her depression and influenced her mental health. Marriage was the opportunity that allowed her to reparent herself.
Just to clarify, arranged here doesn’t mean ‘forced,’ but merely suggests the process of potential suitors by the parents in which the final decision is made by the two individuals getting married.
For many Asian families, arranged marriage is still considered a tradition in the 21st century. I spoke to a woman named Diana who mentioned how her parents chose s suitor for her, and upon meeting him, she fell in love.
While arranged marriage often carries a negative connotation due to its conventional and perceived ‘oppressive’ nature, which disallows the freedom of a daughter to find her true love, it is, in fact, quite the opposite.
Diana’s parents found her a suitor but left it up to her to decide if she wanted to marry the guy. If anything, this seems like such a hassle-free way of getting married. Imagine a line-up of guys that you get to choose from. it’s It almost sounds like royalty!
Challenges as a Young Married Couple
Of course, every marriage has its challenges – especially when two young people decide to venture down the path.
According to the interviews conducted with the young married couples, I asked them how their marriage was progressing and what challenges they faced.
Prioritize Financial Stability
Nadine expressed that one of the main challenges she faced as a young married woman was to start everything from scratch regarding finances.
In her experience, she and her husband were fresh out of university, looking for job opportunities with a minimum wage. That means they had to start from the beginning, set up their savings, and look for a car or a house together.
It is definitely not an easy start for her, but she truly believes that everything will be worth it as long as they struggle together.
You Have to Compromise on PRivacy
Unless you already live alone and are fully independent, this is one of the challenges that will most likely arise, especially if you are not financially stable.
Again, most couples who start their lives together at a young age have barely enough time to save up for a home. Most young, married couples live with their parents or other family members.
Living with other people is not bad, but it may affect your marriage life in terms of privacy, as the only place you could get total privacy and intimacy is in your room.
FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is Real!
This is not so much of a challenge if you’re pleased with where you’re at, and don’t care about other people.
However, this may become an issue if you have the ‘the grass is greener on the other side mentality. Imagine yourself settling down with your partner, living in the comforts of your own home, and ready to have a baby when you see your friends having fun together, partying, and living their lives as depicted on social media.
For the most part, it may give you a sense that you’re missing out, but remember that ultimately, marriage is a decision you consciously make and, in return, have to live with this decision. Opting for early marriage is a deeply personal decision. Some couples brave life’s challenges together, crafting their futures from the ground up.
To those who embark on this journey, may Allah (SWT) grant you the strength, willpower, and perseverance to strive towards that, and may He bless your marriage!