By Arslan HassanSo by mercy from Allah, you were lenient with them.
And if you had been rude & harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from you. (Al-Quran – 3. 159)
There is no one definition of good parenting; it is as diverse and varied as each parent. For Muslim moms, the task becomes doubly difficult as they try to tread the fine line of the modern world and Islamic teachings.
Although Islamic history highlights the exemplary motherhood of Hazrat Khadija, Hazrat Fatima, and Hazrat Bibi Zainab, it is often challenging for 21st-century Muslim mothers to find practical Islamic parenting advice.
We fear that the teachings of our religion are not implementable in today’s day and age. But our deen is complete, and if you look closely, you will find guidance. Allah has presented Surah Luqman to guide the behavior of all followers. Moreover, for Muslim parents, there is no example more prominent than that of our Prophet.
Hadith informs us of the love and kindness he bestowed on his daughters and grandchildren; Many incidents have been reported in which the Prophet showered them with kisses and hugs to show his love.
He also gave them immense respect; there are numerous accounts of the Prophet standing up when his daughter entered the room. He would remove the cloth on his shoulder and spread it on the floor for his daughter to sit on. His love, kindness, and respect towards his children is the ultimate example for any Muslim mom.
Besides ensuring love, kindness, and respect, let us see what other things Muslim moms can do to guarantee good parenting:
Have Honest Intentions
As a parent, we make many decisions in our daily life. For instance, which cartoon is the best, which storybook to read, which games are ideal, and so on. In every parenting decision we take, our intentions should align with the teachings of Islam.
No one is perfect, your decisions may seem unIslamic to someone else. What matters is your intention; make sure that the things you are doing will make your child and your Allah happy.
For instance, before letting your child see Peppa Pig, ask yourself, will this make Allah happy? Children want to watch cartoons, and it is okay to let them watch cartoons, but the cartoons can be in alignment with our religion as well.
Some of the best Islamic cartoons on YouTube include:
- Nasheed for children
- Umar and Hana
- Flowers of Islam
- Islamic cartoons with Zaky
Similarly, if we intend to make them follow the rules of Islam, we should obey them ourselves. Do what you preach as your children will emulate your behavior.
Do You
With time, you will realize what things are working for you. Make sure not to copy others in your style of parenting. Every child is unique, and so are the parents. You know the skills, likes, and dislikes of your child; therefore, you can decide what is best for them.
Don’t be in competition with other moms. Do what you think is best according to the teachings of the religion. Many moms living in Western countries find it hard to practice their faith for fear of standing out or being shunned by society.
Own your religion; practice parenting as you see fit. It will also make your children be more in sync with the Islamic faith.
Set Realistic Goals
Every mom loves to become a super mom. However, smart moms are those who set realistic goals. For instance, if you want your three-year-old to learn all six kalmas in one week, you are setting yourself up for failure.
Set small and achievable goals for yourself and your children. You don’t have to do everything in one day or even one week. When you set realistic goals, you build your children up. Once they achieve the goal (putting their toys away, learning the dua for sleeping, or coloring within lines), you can celebrate their achievement, which will make them confident adults.
Making Every Moment Special
Childhood goes by in a flash; celebrate every moment to make your child feel special and loved. Remember, you have to be your child’s biggest cheerleader. We don’t have to wait for milestone events to appreciate our children, praise their efforts, and let them see that you understand them.
Celebrating your child’s first namaz or fast is an excellent way to reward them for doing something good that makes Allah happy. But don’t wait for these once in a lifetime events to enjoy, make your child feel good every day.
Take a stroll in the evening, enjoy a water fight, play a video game, or bake cookies. You can make whatever you do special for your kid by practicing active listening with them.
Stay In The Present
Being a Muslim mom, you should have a firm belief in Allah. Believe that Allah will help you manage as you prepare for the future needs of your children. Whether educational expenses or marriage, Allah will make it happen. Stay in the present, and thank Allah for every little thing. Do not obsess over what will be or what has already happened; be grateful to Allah and enjoy all the things you have right now. This time will not come back.
Practice Positive Behavior
Muslim moms know the importance of modeling behavior. Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) showed the real meaning of life to the Muslims; he displayed the teachings of Islam with his practice so that everyone can learn by watching him.
This gives us a lesson that modeling behavior is essential to inspire the desired action. For instance, if we want our kids to offer prayers five times a day, we should practice it first.
Similarly, we should be respectful to our elders, treat everyone with kindness, practice charity, and be good neighbors so that our children learn from example.
When your children will see you volunteering at the mosque, they will want to do it too. When they will see you cleaning after yourself, they will practice cleanliness too. You can even include your children in exciting activities to teach some of this behavior. For instance, Carpet Cleaners London suggests “family rug cleaning” in which the whole family participates in cleaning a rug and racing to see who gets it done first.
Apologize
Islam teaches us the importance of apology irrespective of age or status. When things go out of control, losing your temper from time to time is normal. Likewise, apologizing when you’re wrong can strengthen your relationship with children. Let the children know the importance of sorry and maintain a respectful relationship with them.
Parenting is a challenging task, but if you remain mindful of your actions and make sure that you are not doing anything that is against the teaching of Islam, you are golden. Remember, you can’t control everything. Do the best you can, and leave the rest to Allah.
Arslan Hassan is an electrical engineer with a passion for writing, designing and anything tech-related. His educational background in the technical field has given him the edge to write on many topics. He occasionally writes blog articles for Dynamologic Solutions, a software house in Pakistan.