By Everyone processes grief differently. The loss of a loved one or the loss of anything cherished is difficult, and the grief that follows takes shape in different forms. It’s a natural reaction; something that is part of life in this dunya. Death and loss is inevitable. There are stages of grief, and many different ways one can cope, from leaning on family and friends, or finding comfort in things that one wouldn’t usually find comfort in. Large gatherings at janazahs, floods of messages and condolences on social media, and visitors and guests coming over to offer words of comfort are all a part of the aftermath of losing someone beloved. And in a way, being surrounded by so many supportive people and words can make it easy to cope for some people. For others, solitude and darkness is what they believe is good for them.
But perhaps the most beautiful way to cope and grieve — and the most beneficial — is turning to Allah SWT. Dua is and always will be a Muslim’s most powerful tool, and so, during grief, it is making dua that will help both us and the deceased.
Dua 1: At the Time of Death
“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the guided.” [Quran; 2:155-157]
In the ayah above, Allah SWT has given us a dua to recite whenever calamity strikes, whether that be the loss of someone precious or the loss of wealth and goodness. We must always recite the dua “Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Rajioon — Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return”.
This dua reminds us to be patient and to trust in Allah, believing with utter conviction that we belong to Allah and one day, we will all return to Him as well. This dua is usually recited as soon as we hear the news of someone’s death.
Dua 2: Dua for Relief during Grief
Hasbunallah Wa Ni’mal Wakeel — Sufficient for us is Allah, and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs.
This dua is extremely important for us to keep repeating each time we are faced with any difficulty, whether that be with a loss of a loved one or any other problem. We have to remember that Allah SWT knows what is best for us and for our loved ones, and to have patience during these times. This dua also provides a sense of relief to us, knowing that there is Allah SWT with us in every step of our journey.
Dua 3: Duas for Our Loved Ones
While it is necessary for us to grieve, it is also important for us to keep praying for our deceased loved ones. There are several different duas we can make for our loved ones, but the ones asking for their forgiveness, for their high status in Jannah, and for protection in the grave are the most crucial. Asking for forgiveness is something that we should be doing on a daily basis anyway for ourselves, so including an extra few minutes of dua for our loved ones shouldn’t be a problem. The same goes for asking Allah to protect our loved ones from the punishments of the grave.
Dua 4: Dua for protection against calamity
Allah is the All-Knowing and we must always have firm belief in the Qadr of Allah and our destiny and so whatever may happen, will happen through the will of Allah. However, we should still continue making dua for protection while we are still alive.
There is a hadith that states a Sahabah went to The Prophet Muhammad SAWS, telling him about all the fears he had for his family and children and for his wealth and life. So the Prophet Muhammad replied by asking him to read the following dua three times in the morning and evening.
Bismillahi ‘ala deeni wa nafsi wa waladi wa ahli wa maali — May the blessings of Allah be on my Deen, life, children, family and wealth.
While the period of grief is a difficult time for any human, remember that Allah SWT loves the ones that are patient.
The Prophet Muhammad SAWS said, “Allah says, ‘I have nothing to give but Paradise as a reward to my believer slave, who, if I cause his dear friend (or relative) to die, remains patient (and hopes for Allah’s Reward). Sahih Al-Bukhari
May Allah SWT grant all our loved ones that have passed the highest level of Jannah. Ameen.