#MuslimGirlLife

Let’s Talk About Mutah, or Temporary Marriage in Islam

mutah
  • Ghadir

    well-explained

  • Dexter Morgan

    I see a lot of fancy talk but I don’t see anything different about it than pre-marital or casual sex. Just because there’s a few extra regulations doesn’t seem very impressive. If this is adopted, what exactly happens to the muslim critique of promiscuity, pornography, etc etc? What’s the point of dressing modestly or wearing a hijab or the equivalent for men? The whole thing becomes a joke. This is just watering things down so we don’t have to do any work. Feeling horny? Forget self control, go find someone to get naked with. Sorry but this just seems ridiculous.

    • Hadi Matar

      Not at all, mutah is different from all those things you mentioned, it’s haram to record yourself having sex and show to others btw (for your difference on porn) 2. You make it seem as if doing mutah is the easiest thing in the world, this article gave a general sense of the rules it didn’t get really into specifics because when you do, you realize it’s not so easy to even have a mutah with some of the conditions mentioned, in some cases with certain scholars they make it almost impossible. Believe me when I say it’s difficult because I was one of those people that actually sought to do it and still seek to do it, still no luck). Believe me, you don’t get to be like those guys at college who go to parties and have girls on the side they get to sleep with, trust me on that. It’s very limited and difficult to apply. It’s not like the dating system that the average American has. It’s not as easy. However I’ll say it’s meant for people in certain situations not everyone is the same and can simply “control themselves” as you say. You gotta keep in open mind and understand God is merciful.

      • Mariam

        Get married then! Mutah is only temporary pleasure, what happens when the contract expires and you’re hooked onto sex now? Are you gonna do another contract? Then what after that, another one? After all those mutah marriages you’ll be known as the town whore. Mutah is only temporary pleasure whereas marriage is permanent pleasure and PROPER love and affection. If you’re having trouble controling yourself then you should fast more to teach yourself some discipline. You should pray more (and on time!) to teach yourself some control. Self-control is a very important trait and skill to have. If you as a grown human dont have self-control, then what is the difference between yourself and an animal? Then what is the difference between yourself and a child? Yes self-control is a skill that can be learnt and ANYBODY can teach and turn this into a skill and habit of theirs. You just need to put in a whole lot of effort (fasting and praying are very helpful like i mentioned earlier).

        Also, what about the issue of children? The more you have sex the higher the changes of having a child. Are you really going to have a child with someone you dont love and only used for sex? Is that child really going to grow up knowing that his/her parents only came together entirely for the sake of sex and did not wish to have him/her? What a depressing life that child will have and grow up with. What a destruction to society! When we see a couple willing to divorce we as a society weep in sympathy towards their children. “Oh what about their kids? Those poor things would have to grow up with their parents seperated. One day with their mum and the next with their dad. What a troubling and upsetting life!”

        Well what about mutah? We get upset over a parents’ divorce but dont even dare to condemn mutah and its consequences? Such hypocrisy and double-standards. Do us muslims not have brains? How can we encourage something as destructive and degrading as mutah. It makes us no different from the kuffar in my opinion…
        As a muslim i fully condemn mutah and hope that every other muslim opens their eyes and does the same. I personally would never marry a man that has committed mutah, what a revolting thing to do.

        • Sayed1472

          Asalam O Alykum to all, This is Sayed Naqvi, Miss Mariyam, I do agree regarding discussing that (what about children), but this pleasure is only for those, who are compelled. as everyone knows regarding today’s wives, who never ever give their Husband permission to make second marry, while, in Islam there are 4 marriages are allowed for men, God created some extra things in men nature, so here you condemn is wrong……. compelled girls & compelled boys, if doing muta so there is no harm in, because, without having sex nobody sustain their life, every body needs some pleasure in shape of sex. because it is included in human nature, even girl or boy…

          • Sayed1472

            I’m married boy, and also have a wish to make second marry and my wife also knows my wish, but she made me aware that, I’ll not let you do 2nd marry,, while she is agreed in giving permission about Muta…. I shown my eager to her, then she said to me, if you have a strong zeal & zest, you are permitted to do Muta, made also promise with me, that I’ll quest girl for you……… here, what would you say Mariyam?

          • Sayed1472

            it is better to walk on steam dimension , instead of making any sin…..

          • Sayed1472

            muta is permissible, but date with any girl or boy is not, the thing that is done having seen the rules & regulations, so why should we condemn on it…. making sin is better or follow Islamic rules?????? you get my point I think…

          • Aqsa Khalid
          • Mariam

            oh okay so sex with a stranger is better and more modest than a date with a stranger? wow such logic. what a reasonable thing to do. pffttt

          • Mariam

            Then don’t sin. Just sleep with your wife and thats it. Done.

          • Daft Punk

            Not everyone one has a wife! Ant a wife does not always offer herself!

          • Daft Punk

            Do you accept that Muslims reach an age where they have desires, but they are unable to get married? Should they date, as they are doing now and commit sin? Or should they do mutah, which an solution provided by the Holy Prophet (saw) and one practiced by the sahabas, who had wives, by the way!?

          • Daft Punk

            Unfortunately, some people have the attitude of Shaitan, who thinks he knows better than Allah!

          • Mariam

            What do i say? I say you’re disgusting. Don’t even call yourself a sayed or a religious figure. You’re embarrassing all of us. Astaghfiruallah. What has gotten into our men..
            You need to control your desires and stay loyal to your wife okay. Keep your modesty akhi and fear Allah.

          • Daft Punk

            Why are you so aggressive? Did not the Holy Prophet (saw) allow it and the sahabas practice it? What is your view of them? Be careful how you behave with people who are following Islam.

          • Mariam

            Your arguement is ridiculous saying “i need sex i need sex” when you already have a wife to have sex with. Mutah is only for those who cannot recieve sex so currently mutah is not halal for you because you are able to recieve sex from your wife. Even if she lets you do mutah, still. Mutah is only for the truly desperate and those who are not able to get sex. I believe its pathetic and haram but hey if ur gonna do it then at least follow the guidelines 😒

          • Daft Punk

            Do Muslims not date all the time and commit Zina? Mutah is, as you point out, for those who cannot get sex, and that is the case in this day and age for many ordinary young Muslims!

            Why is a provision in Islam pathetic? Were the sahabs pathetic when they practiced it? Lets not be arrogant like Shaitan and refuse to bow before Allah’s rules!

          • Daft Punk

            I agree! Mutah is a provision that prevents Zina!

        • Daft Punk

          People forget that Islam is a practical religion and many Muslims all over the world are unable to get married when they are of age and instead they opt to date and then end up committing zina – Mutah prevents that!

          That is why the Holy Prophet (SAW) allowed it and sahabas practiced it – who are you to change the laws of Islam!

    • Mariam

      Dexter you are absolutely right. But pornography has nothing to do with this, you went a bit off topic there, but other than that, well said! This is exactly how i see it. Mutah defeats the purpose of self-control and guarding ones private-parts from everyone expect the spouse. Mutah has the same effects as zina and even prostitution in my opinion. I am a muslim and completely condemn mutah because it goes against the basic teachings of Islam in regards to modesty, lineage and ties of kinship. I don’t believe my religion encourages it. It was a practice introduced by the Arabs in the pre-Islamic era and just like alcohol, Islam allowed it for a while and then later on prohibited it (for the sake of gradual and effective change). I believe mutah is a test and anyone with common sense would reject this unnecessary practice.

      • Sayed1472

        Ever one is mature here, and can take better decision for own, If any one has justified to belie about Muta,, so we can not do any thing….

        • Mariam

          Brother, do you have a brain? Mutah should not be an option, it is very very similar to zina. Permanent marriage is the best thing.

          • Daft Punk

            Then why did the Holy Prophet (saw) give the option and why did the sahabas practice it? We follow Allah and Prophet, not Allah and Mariam!

      • Daft Punk

        Mariam, It is a teaching of Islam, which you are refusing because you are personally disgusted, just the way Shaitan was disgusted when Allah asked him to bow before Adam (AS).

    • Aqsa Khalid
    • Daft Punk

      Temporary marriage is like Dating, not prostitution, but it has religious rules attached to it and it is considered to be a blessed relationship, just like permanent marriage.

      From a practical point of view it is a compromise between marriage and celibacy, solving the problem of men and women wanting to have sex, but holding back because they are saving themselves for marriage.

      Philosophers and other people, such as George Bernard Shaw, viewed Temporary Marriage as essential for Europe, where people were becoming obsessed with sex and not being restrained in any way.

  • Noor Saadeh

    Mutah again speaks a lot about taking care of men’s needs. We need to go back to a better and more applied understanding of women’s needs and protection as well.

    • Daft Punk

      Mutah is a right of women and protection for them!

      In particular it prevents what wahabis have been practicing for years, which is to marry someone in order to have sex with them, and then divorce them weeks or months later and sometimes even days later!

      Mutah informs the woman from the beginning what the relationship is and to a degree prevents a man from pretending to marry the woman permanently, and then divorcing her or not even going ahead with marriage, which can scar a woman psychologically!

  • Amber Peeden

    I have been speaking with a young man for about month now and it is getting to a point where we both can see something serious come out of it. He is an American Muslim and his family are strict Muslims but I am of other faith. He has asked me to enter into Mutah if that is the proper way of specifying it and I am a bit confused and nervous. His mother told him that we either do it or we are forbade to have any relations beyond being strangers and I am a bit scared. I have just started to learn about this faith but am still a bit confused and he cant get me to understand it very well. Maybe if I get advice from a young lady maybe it will make more sense to me. Please help.

    • Sayed1472

      Asalam O Alykum,,, you are mature, it is permissible to do, there are many evidence regarding muta, now you need to understand that your muta partner is sensor with you.

    • Qan Ta

      If his family is involved and knows about you two then I would say read up on prenups. Half or full muslim marriages are all about contracts between two people.

      So if you want to date him. Mutah is alright to do and also if you do want to be fully married with him in the future. You should discuss with him and ask him if he wants to fully marry you or not.

      Also in the mutah you can have non-sexual contact clause. Meaning he can’t kiss you or have sex with you. Or you can write up that sex be allowed.

      It is all about the comfort level between you two.

      Some see mutah almost like an engagement of sorts.

      As a non-muslim woman girl, you don’t have to worry about anything really. Just make sure he doesn’t have a wife already or other mutah marriages happening if you want to fully marry him.

      The mutah is more for his peace of mind and it has benefits for the women. Just think of it like a prenup. Always make sure to read the contract proper, take your own interpreter, and make extra copies to keep safe just in case. Also there is a time limit to it so make sure to extend/renew or make a contract for a full marriage before the time is up.

      Good luck hun :)

    • Aqsa Khalid
      • Mariam

        Well done, i love how you linked this. Wallahi any muslim with common sense would automatically feel uncomfortable and disgusted by mutah. Because there is absolutely no difference between mutah and zina. So mutah goes against our basic islamic beliefs of modesty, guarding ones private parts and reproduction. People who accept and perform mutah are just plain dumb and blinded by their desires. SubhanAllah

        • Daft Punk

          Its unfortunate, because there are many Muslims who would be prepared to do zina, but would avoid mutah, which at was clearly allowed in Islam!

          If it was allowed in the time of the Holy Prophet (SAW) and the sahabas practiced it, then how can you call it prostitution? Are you suggesting that the Holy Prophet (SAW) permitted prostitution and the sahabas practiced it?

          Do not be blinded by your own opinion! We are Muslim and difficult as it may be we have to accept the teachings of Islam from God and our Holy Prophet (SAW).

  • Joy

    Hey Amber. I dont think you should as you are already confused and nervous. I was seeing someone who used this on me but I then found out after 3 yrs later he was in several other mutas with girls. I felt immensely betrayed because he was horny all the time and made me believe we have to use muta in order to know each other. I then found out he had been doing this all his life. For him it was ‘free’ sex whenever/who ever. Muslim women are honoured and to be used as sex or being flaky is not needed. I think forget this Muslim guy and if he really is serious about you then marry you. Why waste time? Please dont get confused as Allah gave us guidance not to be abused yet people do that. If you look at good marriages, they are not required for muta but care and respect. Do contact me if you wanna talk hun. X

  • Sayed1472

    Awareness regarding Islamic history is necessary

    • Daft Punk

      We have to put aside our own personal opinions, which is the way of Shaitan!

  • Michelle Yoon Mandac

    Hi! I’m quite confused, this is our second contract of temporary marriage. I’m not muslim. I didn’t know that this guy has a wife and a child. We’ve been together for more than a year. The other day, my mom saw him in the mall with another lady with a baby. I panicked and chatted his sister although he said that it is forbidden to ask any of his family members and they doesn’t know anything about me. The sister was shocked when I asked her if her brother is married. then I told him that I asked the sister. He was so mad and he said that we finish the relationship and he doesn’t want anymore since I broke the rule. Then I tried to contact one lady same village with them and she told me that he is married and has a child anymore. So for me, he cheated. Does anyone can enlighten me in this situation?

    • Qan Ta

      Well issue here is that he is not being honest with his first wife and not fully honest with you either. A man can have up to 4 wives and some would say that mutah wives can be numerous and not counted as towards the 4 full wives status. Meaning a man can have 4 full wives and any number of half-wives (mutah).

      Socially to be honest it is kind of looked down upon a man having more than one wife and/or hiding a wife, also it is highly disliked in society for a woman to agree to a mutah marriage. (Sadly there is this uncalled for prejudices which is not because of religion but more of a cultural taboo).

      You were not aware of his wife, so it is not your fault. The troubles are really on him and his own fault. He should not hide and lie like this. I would suggest you end the marriage. If you stay, you will feel guilt and he will not tell the wife about you or anyone in fact. You kind of lose your rights this way if you are a hidden secret wife. Make copies of contract and keep them with you just in case for proof, and end this marriage. Unless you do not mind being the secret and hidden half wife. Mutah usually is done because there should intentions to marry fully. Anyways I wish you luck hun. Whether you stay or leave, make sure to always stand up for your rights. Your half husband seems extremely immature in my opinion and clearly is dishonest. Don’t let him push you around at all ! Nothing is your fault and you are no way to be blamed about all this. Also maybe he did have intentions for a full marriage with you. You have to use common and see if he can afford two wives and two households. Have a serious discussion with him about what you want and expect and what he wants.

      • Mariam

        Sis whoever told you about the ‘half-wife’ ‘full-wife’ crap is lying to you. A mutah wife IS a full wife and will always be a full wife and will always be counted as one of the four full wives. But mutah is only for those who are not able to recieve sex. Married men are already receiving sex. Therefore mutah is not for married men, only in very certain and un-likely situations like distance, disability of the wife etc. But regardless of anything, marriage (both permanent and temporary) MUST be done with the current wifes knowledge, even if she herself is a mutah wife. No man is allowed to marry or sleep with (in mutah) without the women (that he is married to or sleeping with in mutah) knowing about eachother. I as a muslim do not believe mutah is permitted btw, but im just letting you know about the guidelines. Dont ever do it tho, its a bloody joke.

    • Mariam

      This is disgusting. Not you, him. A married man cannot to mutah unless he is very far from his wife and can no longer control his urges and will not be seeing his wife anytime soon. And it MUST be done with her knowledge. If the desired mutah wife is christian or jewish then it MUST be done with her consent. Some scholars say marriage and mutah must be done with the current wifes consent regardless of religion. A muslim man is FORBIDDEN from marrying (both permanent and temporary) any woman who is not muslim, jewish or christian. Do you even fit into one of those categories? What hes doing is deffinately haram, he is a very ignorant and childish person that knows nothing about the religion. Might as well be commiting zina. Did he even pay or give you the required dowry? Im embarassed to call him or anyone like him a muslim. Wallah its so dissapointing to see our men turn out like this. Honestly, sis. This isnt your culture or your religion. Stay away from things that you’re confused about because you will most likely get abused. Unless you decide to properly educate yourself about it.

    • Daft Punk

      Muta has rules and its possible for Muslims, as they are humans, to break the rules and cheat someone, just as he could have pretended to be single and dated you instead. Similarly, there are people who marry someone and then a week later divorce them.

      In that sense there are always limits! This guy should have told you about his wife and kids, but really when you form a relationship with someone, you have to carry out checks and be very careful!