Wallah, We Aren’t Buying It — You’re Just Being Creepy

#WallahBroWednesday is a feature where we respond to Facebook messages, love letters, creepy propositions, and downright absurd requests from those who are “single and looking for a wife, insha’Allah.”

We talked about this type of dude last year, but let’s have ourselves a refresher.
“Wallah Bro” – Noun. A man who says women in hijab should not wear makeup because it will attract a man’s lustful gaze. This same guy also wears gold, has eyebrows that are fleek-er than mine due to intense threading, and routinely posts shirtless selfies.
See also:
A). Men who tell women not to laugh too loudly because it might “arouse” someone, but are keen to drink and carouse at the hookah lounge with non-Muslim girls.
B). Men who want a wife who wears hijab and has exactly their brand of self-respect, modesty, and virginity, but are at the club after Jummah every Friday.
C). Any guy who tells you something is haram, then says “Wallah.” Because they know religion better than you and they never do anything haram. Wallah!
Listen up, Wallah bros: We have had it with your constant hounding at social gatherings, at the masjid, even in our own homes (I’m looking at you, brothers and uncles and cousins).
But now, we have also had it with your harassment of us, women who are complete strangers to you, on social media.
Is this guy kidding?!?!?! 
Shame on you and your improper adhab (manners). While you hypocritically criticize and assail other Muslims, you lack the most basic decency toward women expected of you by religion.

Remember your obligation as a Muslim to practice taqwa (God-Consciousness) and have adhab. Remember that we are PEOPLE, not dolls or pretty items on a shelf waiting for your approval, made for your enjoyment.

“Lower your gaze” includes Facebook too! Our often very private Facebook profiles, our Twitter rants, and our Instagrams, Linkedin accounts, and Muslim Girl articles and videos are not designed to attract your attention so that you can gawk at us and post drooling, poorly worded messages like “Salaam habibti, gorgeous masha’Allah, please friend.”
La hawla wa quwita illah billah…..
We share comments on relevant articles because we have opinions. We share profile photos with family and friends because we use social media to connect with the people we already trust, know, and love.
We post our email addresses and phone numbers on our business websites and Linkedin so that customers and employers can reach us, not so you can text us, “Hello pretty are you awake? You are on my mind, Wallah I can’t stop thinking about you. Can we talk?” at midnight, though we have NO IDEA who you are or why you are privately contacting us.
Your conduct is not only disgusting to us as empowered women and feminists in the 21st century who have had enough with micro-aggressive bullshit, your conduct is disgusting to us as Muslim women who had hoped that our Muslim brothers were above this sort of digital cat-calling.
I have no filtered messages in my inbox from Muslim men asking me about my opinions on being a Muslim woman in America, or relating to me about that comment I posted on a CAIR article, or praising my thoughtfulness in a Muslim Girl article. All of them are “salaam toots, wanna friend me so I can add weird comments that make you uncomfortable on all your profile pictures?”
What’s your number? No, I don’t want to hook up. PUT YOUR MOTHER ON THE PHONE so I can tell her you are acting like a pig. 
In contrast, I get messages from Christian men and boys saying “I support you and stand against islamophobia. You have my support.”
And then a Wallah Bro throws this at me. ?
I have messages from non-Muslims asking “I don’t know much about Islam and you seem like a very intelligent young Muslim woman, can I ask you a few questions so I can be better educated about your religion?”
FullSizeRender-11Seriously dude? 
Step it up and stop typing, Bros. Whenever you want to message a girl or woman you don’t know to tell her how pretty she is, or to have a nice day because you’ll be thinking of her, DON’T.
Remember your obligation as a Muslim to practice taqwa (God-Consciousness) and have adhab. Remember that we are PEOPLE, not dolls or pretty items on a shelf waiting for your approval, made for your enjoyment. Remember that we are watching you, and screen-shotting your inane messages, and we have no problem putting you on blast.
One little…
Two little…
Three little…
Wallah Bros! 
Wallah I’m done, y’anni. Don’t message us this stuff or we might start naming names and calling your moms/wives/aunties. Mmmmkay habibi??!?!