10 Things Just As Offensive to Muslims As The Starbucks Red Cup

It’s that time of year again! That happiest/jolliest/merriest time of year. With snowflakes and jingle bells and Santa’s sleigh — unless you’re a Starbucks cup. Then you’re anti-Christian and hate all reindeer and Christmas cheer.
While Starbucks cups have always been red around the holidays, they used to be a little more “Christmasy” in the past — featuring images like snowflakes (which I had no idea represented Christmas?), ornaments, trees and presents. This year’s cup is an ombré of cherry to a deep cranberry red finishing at the bottom. Simple and “chic” — if we’re now referring to vehicles for liquids to mouth as “chic.”

“Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by a plain red Starbucks cup…” – Amrita Minhas

To all who are crying out that this red cup is so offensive and anti-Christian, we agree. But we’d rather complain about things that are anti-Islam and offensive to those of us who celebrate Eid instead.

Here’s a list of the top 10 things that really offend us during the Christmas — sorry “Holiday” — time of year.

1. Plain red Starbucks cups.

Where’s our green cup for Eid and Ramadan?

2. Holiday trees.

I want to see a fully decorated evergreen tree with green lights and ornaments of baby lambs and mansaf. I want an Eid tree.

3. Snowmen.

They way they stand there in the snow with their top hats and scarves — highly offensive to someone with roots from the desert. Maybe if you threw a keffiyeh around their necks it might make snowmen less offensive and anti-Islam.

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4. Snowflakes.

Why do they gotta be white? There should be snowflakes of all colors to represent the diversity of America.

5. Mistletoe.

I don’t know ’bout you, but I’d much rather see some maramia — sage — leaves hanging over doorway entrances. At least they smell nice and help your tummy out when used in tea. What does mistletoe do? Nothing. It does nothing — except put you in an uncomfortable situation when you happen to be standing underneath it with someone else.

6. Reindeer.

Camels. And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.


7. Advent calendars.

How about we count down until Ramadan is over? It’s much more exciting to count down the days until I can eat again as opposed to Dec. 25. Except the chocolate — the chocolate can stay…


8. The color green.

Green is obviously a Muslim color. Why it’s a staple color of Christmas is just beyond me.

9. Ugly sweaters.

These are self explanatory.


Last but not least….

10. Presents.

Actually, I’m not offended by this one at all — carry on with the gift giving.

We Muslims — we refuse to be silent any longer.
There is a war on Eid and Ramadan and Islam that has been going on for centuries and we are sick of it! Sick of it, I tell ya.
For the record — I happen to freakin’ love Christmas. I love building gingerbread houses and visiting the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. I love the spirit that comes along with the holiday — and I’m not at all offended by Rudolph and singing carolers on my coffee cup. The only coffee cup that would ever actually offend me is one that is sans coffee inside. That is a true war on just humanity in general.

Image: The Drum