So much to learn and so little time! 🙂
For all Muslims around the world, the month of Ramadan is a great month. It is the month in which Allah revealed the Qur’an as a guidance for the whole of mankind, the month during which we find Laylat al-Qadr, the month during which the gates of heaven are open and the gates of Hell are shut, the month during which the shayaateen (devils) are tied up and the rewards for good deeds are multiplied… But what is the month of Ramadan like for converts?
Mostly of course, the month of Ramadan is really great for converts. The unity amongst Muslims that seems to have gone missing over the months comes back during Ramadan, which means a lot more support is offered to them and they get to meet a lot more brothers and sisters than usual. They are offered great food, invited to different Iftars and are immersed in different Islamic activities.
But, to be completely honest, all that excitement and all the stories I hear about Ramadan also really make me nervous sometimes. Last year, I was just a brand new convert when Ramadan came along, so I just focused on praying and fasting really. I was still learning to pray properly so I took it as a challenge to be able to pray correctly, learn a few short suras, and fast.
However, now that I have been a Muslim for over a year, I have had the time to learn about all the other things that are important during Ramadan. Fasting is not just about food, in fact, its more about behavior than it is about food. Someone that is fasting must not have any form of sexual contact, must pray as much as possible, read the Qur’an as much as possible, learn new suras, avoid backbiting, mind his/her language, dress appropriately, eat enough but not too much, have people over for Iftar and never refuse an invitation for Iftar… And this is only what I know, I am sure there are many more things out there.
When a convert does not follow all of these guidelines, people are quick to remind them of what they should be doing and how they should be doing it. I know that this is mostly meant well, but for a convert it is also extremely overwhelming. For example, reading Qur’an: for someone who has been a Muslim from birth, it was much easier to learn to read Arabic than for someone who is starting in their 20’s or even later. On top of this, there are so many other things to do and learn during Ramadan that a convert is often left with little time to learn Arabic. This means having to read a translation of the Qur’an, which is considered less than the original text.
A second example would be dressing appropriately. Considering the fact I used to almost never wear long sleeves and certainly never any loose fitted clothes before I converted, my closet is not exactly fit for a fasting Muslim woman. Although I have been a Muslim for a year now, changes occur gradually, and you have to take into account the reaction of your friends and family and the prices in many Islamic clothes stores in the U.K. This means that by the time Ramadan comes around the corner, my closet does not include enough loose fitted clothes to be able to be 100% Hijab every time I walk out my front door.
These are only two examples that show you how a convert often has to compromise amongst all the different things he or she needs to do during Ramadan and that can be very frustrating. I wish I could read the Qur’an! It would also make it 100 times easier to learn new suras because at the moment I have no idea what they mean unless I read the translation. I wish I could dress perfectly ‘Hijab’ everyday, but sometimes some of my clothes are in the wash, so I need to wear something slightly too tight or too short.
The point I am trying to make is that Ramadan is an amazing time for a convert, but it is also a time of pressure. Sometimes I really feel like I am letting Allah (SWT) down because I don’t know something or I am unable to do something. Allah (SWT) has blessed me by putting Islam on my path and I sometimes feel like I can not thank him enough.
My advice is to set specific goals, such as ‘Read the entire (translation of the) Qur’an’ and ‘Learn two new suras’, and stick to them. This will keep you from dividing your attention between so many different things that you end up learning very little. I am curious to hear about your Ramadan experiences and what your goals are. Do you know any converts yourself? And be sure to read all about the life of the Prophet (SAW) in our Ramadan Project!
I’m a born Muslim and seeing converts like you who practice and observe the month of Ramadhan and try to do the best you can to be closer to Allah S.W.T — I have to say that I’m really ashamed of myself and my friends. 99% of my Muslim friends who are also born Muslim are far from what you sisters are. I’m trying to be the best Muslim but it’s so difficult. I seem to have friends that do all the wrong things. Eg, cursing and swearing during ramadhan, tattoos, wear tight fighting clothes etc. It’s more difficult to talk to them since they are born Muslims and they will usually shun you away if you talk to them. =( They favourite phrase – “We can repent later” Nonetheless, I know this is not an excuse. All the more, I should strive harder to be a better Muslimah and advice them although I have to admit, it’s very tiring to repeat the same old thing..
Don’t worry sister, I always read the Quran even though I’m not sure what they mean. I know it’s not the right way. But I’m glad I at least make an attempt to recite the Quran. It will take years to know the Quran by hand. Take your time. 🙂 I used to remember the meaning of some surahs. But I got drifted away from Islam for awhile, now I’m trying my best to remember the meaning of the surahs. Anyway, you’d be surprised that my Muslim friends don’t even know how to read the Quran and it’s just not one or two. So you’re definitely doing better than all of them.
You’re right it is vital to have specific, achievable, realistic, goals. I have a checklist of sorts that helps me assess myself. How I’m doing this Ramadhan compared to last year. Definitely helps.
P/S : Keep on writing and sorry for the longggg comment!
Salam Alaikum Sister!
So great to see that even born muslims read my column! Im very flattered:)
As a convert, I totally understand what you mean with your friends ‘doing all the wrong things’. Its so hard to do the right things when your friends dont support you! What does really help me when I feel alone in my imaan is to go to the mosque or an Islamic Event to meat more brothers and sisters that are supportive and that will have a good influence on me. I always feel so ‘recharged’ when i have been around muslims that show me the right way of doing things…
Its especially hard when i am faced with born muslims that do not observe their fast properly because they do not want to hear me correcting them at all. In that case I usually just pray for Allah (swt) to open their hearts and minds and lead them onto the right path.
I wish you a lot of strength during this beautiful month and hope to see you on muslimgirl again soon insh’allah! You can also follow us on twitter and facebook to keep up with all the new posts;)
Salaam Sister,
I’m glad to hear born Muslims opinion as well.Its hard to be a convert and learning all the things in a short of time what Born Muslims had nearly a life (since they were born) have learnt. Some of them are really helpful and knowing the things very well while I am so surprised how others just ignore reading the Quran,praying and even fasting. When I see someone like this I always think they just simply don’t cherish what they have been given and we are trying so hard to learn all those things what they are gifted with but not doing. I have some Muslim colleagues whom eat non halal meat,saying “oh we need to adopt because we live in a non-Muslim country.” , swearing smoking,going chasing other girls with having a family. etc.. When they talk to me I never hear an improper word, but as I am not death, I can overhear the conversations between each other. Its horrible. So don’t give up Allah is not leading whom are choosing the wrong path,but he leads us insha Allah!
Assalam o Alikum my Muslim sisters,
I just joined muslimgirl and Masha’Allah, I feel like this is really a place where I belong.:) Just to let you know, I am not a convert- I was born Muslim. But where I live, and the people I call my friends- are all non-muslims, so It sometimes becomes really hard for me to cherish my religion as dearly as I can. I am far from the truth and perfection than you guys are. Before coming to this website and listening to your stories, I felt like the only Muslim in my own little world. You see, it is sometimes very hard for us born-Muslims as well to deeply practice Islam and do righteous things from the bottom of our heart when all we see around us are unbalanced, corrupted people.
As sister Kenza has said, many of the born-muslims who reside in my area do not appreciate the gift of Islam they were given as well. They dress indecently, swear, drink alcohol, eat non-halal and do not care one bit about what Allah (SWT) has commanded us to do.
I just pray to Allah that Insha’allah in my upcoming future Allah (SWT) blesses me with people like you and blesses the people who are strayed from the righteous path with good Hidaya. Ameen
Salam alaikum sister,
Thank you so much for joining us here on muslimgirl! It makes me super happy to hear that this website has helped you…thats the whole reason we do this:) But we obviously cannot take any of the praise, all praise being due to Allag (swt)
I hope you enjoy the other articles as well and would love to hear more from you insh’allah
Love
Bubbles
AsalamuAlaykum,
I am totally in on this one. I am a convert too, Alhamdulillah, but it does get extremely confusing. My family is not Muslim and except for one good friend, neither are my friends. Mostly everything I learned to practice I searched online for, and I could only imagine how wonderful it would be to actually be celebrating Ramadan with family. When I do not oversleep for Suhoor, I am the only one creeping to the kitchen to gather what I can so as to not awake my mother and my baby siblings. I hear from a couple of girls I know how their parents wake them up and how they have breakfast with their family, and I realize how they should really know to appreciate that. I see whole groups of yong people meeting for iftaars to smoke hookah, or people shrugging them off, when I have yet to go to an iftaar, and I would have not even thought about smoking during an iftaar or the sort! Me being 17 especially, it is easy to get caught up in not practicing what I am supposed to be practicing, since I have to depend on myself and I am sometimes weak and lazy. I’ve been very thankful to find these same tips online and even a little online booklet for new Muslims on this Ramadan. I would just say lastly, that especially if you’ve been exposed to these practices of Islam since you were little, please do not overestimate the tenderness of the convert at these times, and offer them the best example. It is what I saw the Muslim youth doing that I judged and linked with the representation of Islam early. And when I talk to a born-Muslim that is actually trying to practice and welcomes me in, I cannot express how heartwarming, reassuring, and refreshing it is. May Allah (swt) keep us all on His path.
Asalamu alaikum sister!
It is so nice to meet other young muslim convert sisters on this website!
I can completely identify with how hard it is to keep proper fasts and stay on the straight path….
Please don’t hesitate to add me on facebook (House of Bubbles) and/or twitter (MGbubbles) so we can support eachother insh’allah:)
Hope to see you on muslimgirl again soon!
Love
Bubbles
Assalaamualaikum sisters! 🙂
Im a revert as well,n i face all the problems that u gus have faced! its really hard isnt it,n unfortunately,i couldn’t fast for my 1st Ramadan,which makes me feel soooo bad about it! I would cry almost every single day of Ramadan last year ’cause i wasn’t able to fast. And Pebbles,I face the exact same problem as u do,especially with the dressing,makes u feel so guilty doesn’t it?? And i have just one friend like u do,n her family gives me all the support!! Masha Allah! Iam an Indian,and its really very hard for me,since majority are hindus,and u know hindus,they are idolaters!! These people worship anything and everything,be it idols,cows,dogs,donkeys,”centipedes”,plants….and the list never ends…. i really pity them,pity my own parents ’cause they are very strong idolaters,n im reall depressed with the fact that my parents are not muslims! Insha Allah,they revert as well…and so would the non-believers!
Will be looking forward for your reply! 🙂
Allah Hafiz!
oops,I misspelled ur name Bubbles! =/
Asalamu Alaykum I am also a convert and this pretty much describes me
Salams I am a new convert and I totally understand you.. This is my first Ramadan and I just had the most embarrassing experience ever! I really really really want to pray Taraweeh everyday at the mosque to increase my Imaan but I must not have gotten the memo that women rarely go to Taraweeh.. well in short I was the only woman there and had to pray in the corridor in the dark by myself of the house (which is the temporary Mosque) at my town.
Women go to taraweeh! They are just as entitled to attend the nightly prayer at the mosque as men are 🙂 I think it just depends on your community/area. At my mosque alhamdellah half the attendees are women and children! Maybe you can try visiting another nearby mosque to check out if there are more active sisters there.
Wait, what? Women don’t really go to Taraweeh? I’m glad I saw this, or I might have made the same mistake! Ahhhhhh there’s still so much I have to learn!
I became a Muslim 3 months ago but this is my first Ramadan. I need help as when to eat and when not to. Can anyone help me please. Thank you
I mysels am a Convert 7 months now,moreover it feels like 7years,I saw that in a POSSITIVE way.I’ve gotten Married to the most loving man,+we both truely live each other,he is also my SCHOLAR as my Husband.MY LORD, ALLAH swt has giving to me much knowledge in a very short time.I know my dreams will come true bcuz iam Sufi.