Poem: But Tonight


My country does not love me


I know my country never did

But tonight

I will love the boy next to me,

My mother who sent me a text this morning

The woman who hugged me as I broke down,

And everyone else I can fill in the spaces

Between my heartbeats


I am told I can’t feel

But Tonight

I can feel the chill of the untouched parts of my bed sheets

The tightness in my chest and throat

The burning in the back of my eyes


I am told I am powerless

But tonight

I still have enough power to grip onto my pillow,

I still have enough power to scream,

Create muffled echoes that cause the cotton and feathers to ricochet inside the sheets

I still have enough power

To stare right at everything that hates me through a bright screen

Or silence their voices, let their expressions fade to black

With a click

I still love.

I still feel.

I still have power.

And this is only for one night.

Imagine what I can do

In two nights

In two months

In two years

In two decades

Imagine what we can do