By Houses
You asked me why I did it
Why I hurt you
I wanted to tell you
You were a fire in the kitchen
A gas leak
A flooding bathroom
A disaster that happened
In what I was supposed to call home
A realization that there is danger
In a structure I thought was safe
I’m sorry.
I had to seek shelter elsewhere
Please understand
I have been built on stories that were
Singed, tainted, and watered-down
I was scared of wearing myself out
I was scared of not having something to call home
But I was scared of coming back to something
That wasn’t stable
So I tried to rebuild myself
Filled all the missing nooks and crannies of me
With someone else’s parts
All while thinking that
If I didn’t see your damage,
Then it wasn’t there
So I still longed for home
I did to you what I feared others would do to me
Don’t think I’m not hurting
I still have a burning feeling in my throat
Gas in my heart,
And forever drowning
But I don’t know if it’s because
Of you or me