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Poem: Houses

Poem: Houses

houses

Houses

 

You asked me why I did it

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Why I hurt you
I wanted to tell you

You were a fire in the kitchen
A gas leak
A flooding bathroom
A disaster that happened
In what I was supposed to call home
A realization that there is danger
In a structure I thought was safe

I’m sorry.
I had to seek shelter elsewhere

Please understand
I have been built on stories that were
Singed, tainted, and watered-down
I was scared of wearing myself out
I was scared of not having something to call home
But I was scared of coming back to something
That wasn’t stable

So I tried to rebuild myself
Filled all the missing nooks and crannies of me
With someone else’s parts
All while thinking that
If I didn’t see your damage,
Then it wasn’t there
So I still longed for home        
I did to you what I feared others would do to me

Don’t think I’m not hurting
I still have a burning feeling  in my throat
Gas in my heart,
And forever drowning
But I don’t know if it’s because
Of you or me

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