By Growing up, people always told me you never know a good thing until it’s gone
Like a child, I didn’t listen
I grew up thinking good and bad were as simple as the sun and moon
I didn’t realize good and bad were more like cloudy days
Abandoned playgrounds
Overrun weeds
Maybe if I had realized this sooner, I could have stopped you from leaving
If I remembered all the good memories we had
Maybe my last memory of you would not be your back but instead your face
Now when I see you in a crowded room, I feign indifference when you say
I don’t even know her.
How could you?
You didn’t say goodbye
And I know that’s me being selfish
To think I’m the one who should be sad
I just can’t help it
——-
All my happiness is lost somewhere with our good memories
We started this knowing exactly how this was going to end
Because we had hope
That one of us would see the warning signs
One of us would stop the other from going too far
——-
When it happened
Neither of us was brave enough to be the one
Even though we both didn’t want it to end this way
Or to end in the first place
So, when I catch you looking at me across the room
This was not your fault
It’s not mine either
——-
Whenever something goes wrong in your life
You always have one person you can blame
We don’t have that
Even though you left months ago, I am still carrying your burden
And from the way you said it
I know you’re carrying mine too
——-
It’s not that I didn’t know you were the best thing to happen to me
That part was obvious.
It’s the fact we let go
Without so much of a fight
——-
Before Armageddon hit
We were not fighting for something; we were just fighting
When people ask me what happened
I have a list of excuses ready
Excuse myself from the room
——-
I still find myself looking for things you liked
I buy your favorite foods
Go to your favorite places
Use your favorite perfume in my house
So, I can fool myself into thinking you are still here.