Welcome to #MuslimGirlAnon, your one-stop spot for all the advice you could need! Every week, we crowd-source the very best advice our #MGClique has to offer about issues plaguing our girl gang.
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Q: Hi, Muslim Girl. Recently, I’ve been thinking of taking my hijab off. A lot of my friends have done it, and I’m honestly starting to wonder if I’m wearing it for the right reasons anyway. I don’t really dress modestly, and the only reason I really have it on is because I put it on when I was young. What should I do?
A: “So! I’m actually experiencing the same exact thing. The hijab is a part of my identity, but I want to make sure I respect it, and show it in its rightful matter. The way you dress is the way that you want, but it does get hard to skew that when you’re showcasing yourself as a hijabi. My advice? There’s nothing wrong with taking your hijab off. But I would personally wait a couple of months, and really do some soul-searching. Maybe take your hijab off for a day or two. Really just be like, ‘What is the hijab doing for me, and what am I doing for it?'”
– Areeba, 20, California
A: “You should only be wearing a hijab if you genuinely think it’s needed. If that is no longer the case, take your time and think about it, and take it off if you genuinely feel like you want to. Life’s a process; not many decisions remain 100% forever. Make decisions that make sense to you!”
– Nadiya, 29, London
A: “My answer to her would be…keep it on. I feel like so, so, so many hijabis, including myself, always have that time when they just want to rip it off their heads. This especially comes up when the women that surround you don’t observe hijab. Just stick with it. Don’t impulsively take it off. Give it at least a couple months and actually think it through. Try to get into your deen more, and maybe try to find out why you decided to keep it on after it was ‘trendy’.”
– Deeba, 18, Texas
We’re all here trying to better ourselves, so don’t feel like you’re not doing something well enough.
A: “Responding to the story about taking off the hijab – I’m going to be honest that I am not experienced in this as I am converting and haven’t yet taken shahadah. But as a girl converting, I would like to say how much of a light in the world seeing hijabis is. It is such a bright symbol of faith, and a tool of faith. This is, by all means, your decision, but in my old religion (Catholicism) we are urged to always be ‘converting’, meaning that we grow and adapt our faith. Maybe look to the reasons people decided to wear hijab when they are older rather than younger, and if you find a hope and encouraging reason, then all is well. And if you decide to take it off, all will also be well. Peace and blessings x.”
– Oli, 17, Scotland
A: “I feel like this is more peer pressure than personal choice, because you may feel ‘left out’ when you’re around your friends. And as for missing out on life, it’s possible to feel this way (a lot of young adults feel this way) but the way to fix that is not changing yourself, or in this case taking off your hijab. You need some quiet time to yourself, to figure out what you want to do with your life that makes you happy, your hobbies, and trying new and outgoing things. And about ‘not dressing that modestly’, don’t forget that modesty is a process. It’s something you sort of get better at. My word choice might not be right, but that’s what I feel modesty is. We’re all here trying to better ourselves, so don’t feel like you’re not doing something well enough. I’m not very educated about modesty in Islam yet, because I’m a revert, so this is just my opinion.”
– Anonymous, 17, France
A: “Hijab is in your heart, and mentality first. This kind of hijab angst comes up when your focus is outward (on what your friends are doing), versus what’s inward (how you feel about hijab and your Muslimah identity). How are the other aspects of your faith, such as your prayers? Are you praying on time, every time? Fix the fards first, and hijab will become an accessory to your iman.”
– Leyla, Age Withheld, Chicago
A: “I’d love to tell anon that she should do what feels right. Don’t feel obligated to make either decision.”
– Sarah, Age and Location Withheld
A: “If you feel like you’re not doing it for the right reasons anymore, take it off, and think about it. Take your time; God will appreciate a person that has reasons to wear the hijab than a person who feels stuck in it.”
– Riam, 16, Italy
A: “I don’t know what is right, and what is wrong. But ask yourself, do u really want to take your hijab off? After taking off your hijab, do you become a good Muslim, or just become a part of what others are doing? Wont you regret your decision? Don’t look at everyone. Ask yourself, and ask Allah. Just focus on what you want. Love you, sister.”
– Umaima, 26, Pakistan