How To Pick Up Hijabis

Ahh. You may be looking at this title and thinking, “NOURA, THAT’S HARAM, YOU HARAMI.” And my response to that is, “Actually… this mini-guide is meant for you, girl.”

It’s the beginning of the spring semester and we’re thrust into classes with, more often than not, people we have never met. What if in that mix of people that you’ve never met before, you spot the studious hijabi who seems like she could make the perfect study partner or even the perfect friend? In this mini-guide I shall tell you how to turn that hijabi into your study partner/friend, but first allow to me to explain my reasons for writing such a guide, because this piece was solely inspired from a rather interesting incident that occurred earlier in my first semester here at Rutgers.

T’was a beautiful day and me and a close friend decided to chill in the student center. My friend proceeded to tell me about her Islamic Civilization class and how there were all these hijabis she would slyly sit next to, hoping that they would somehow notice and spark conversation. Then, I jokingly said, “Ahh, so you’re trying to pick up hijabis, I see!” She laughed and nodded. I continued this seemingly comedic action of ‘picking up hijabis’ by telling her all the ways I’ve picked up said hijabis. I told her I was so confident in my methods, that the next hijabi to walk by us I would most definitely succeed in ‘picking up.’ But, before I continue, ‘picking up’ was just our new phrase to define the action of spontaneously making a new hijabi friend.

So, we sat and continued our chat, and from the corner of my eye I noticed this hijabi walk by. I immediately cut off the conversation, turned to the hijabi and went, “Hey sister! Lovin’ that hijab, where’d you get it?” She enthusiastically replied and a conversation was born. (My friend was basically in awe for a minute, so she contributed to the conversation a little later.) We then chatted for a good twenty minutes and exchanged contact information. When she left, I turned to my friend with this big smile on my face and went, “See? Picking up hijabis, not too hard eh?” She looked at me and said, “Oh, Noura. That’s because you’re a spontaneous person!” I replied, “NO. ANYONE CAN DO THIS,” which is exactly what I’ll prove in these next few paragraphs in which I detail some approaches that may or may not be helpful to you.

1. The Complimenter

If you’re a hijabi trying to pick up another hijabi all you’ve got to do is go up to her and compliment her hijab. Seriously. Works. Every. Time. However, this approach is not limited to hijabis, it can work for the equally beautiful non-hijabi as well! (It still produces the same results.) This approach can also be modified beyond the scope of complimenting her hijab. You can compliment anything she’s wearing or even and action — like, “Way to recycle today!” or something. Just don’t forget to smile (no creepy smiles though) and actually continue the conversation beyond that point! Don’t just hear her reply and reply back, “Oh well thanks for letting me know. *awkward silence* I’ll be on my way now.” NO. These are conversation openers, not conversation closers. You open it, then continue that conversation like there’s no tomorrow. Find out things like her name, major, possible occupation, address, social security number, etc. Just kidding! Something you should beware of when picking up this new hijabi friend is falling into the “interview technique.” Tell me about yourself, tell me a funny story, but don’t ask me a zillion questions as if I’m about to get arrested. Kay? Good.

2. The Wink and Go

Okay, this approach is very interesting and can produce a variety of results. You’ll have to be in a classroom setting for this one, you’ll need to sit a seat or two AWAY from said hijabi, and you’ll need to have a break of some sort in class. Okay ready? Here we go. So when the professor calls for a classroom break or ‘stretch’ as some call it, slowly walk over to the hijabi’s spot, wink and then go. Yep. That’s all you have to do. Just wink at her with your eye and then immediately rush out of the classroom. (Or, you could just say ‘Asalamu alaikum,’ haha. -Amani) This will allow said hijabi to think you’re ‘mysterious’ and will lead her to want to be your friend so she can learn more about your mysterious ways. However, the only problem with this approach is if the approacher’s wink comes off as a twitch. Then she’ll probably think you have a problem. But it’s probably okay, because let’s be honest here, a twitch is more mysterious than a plain old wink.

3. The Gangnam Style Bounce

Contrary to popular belief, Gangnam Style is not only an eccentric compilation of dance moves, but the most interesting way to pick up a hijabi. Now for this modern technique you’ll need flashy clothes, a stereo, a big smile, and a couple of your friends. This technique does require practice in the beginning, but, believe me, the results are worth it. All you’ve got to do is go up to the hijabi with your friends after class (be sure to have her cornered so she can’t escape) and just start doing the Gangnam Style dance. Then, after the song is over, start skipping away to your next class with your friends. This hijabi will be so impressed by your dance moves and cool friends (anyone that does spontaneously does Gangnam Style is cool) that she’ll be left with no comprehensible feeling, except for the burning desire to be your friend.

No, But Really…

As you can see out of the three approaches, numbers two and three are not meant to be taken seriously… just in case some of you are considering doing the Gangnam Style approach. But, notice that all three approaches require you to go up to said hijabi and say or do something. The hardest part isn’t concocting a game plan, but going up to someone you’ve never met before, introducing yourself, and making conversation.

So, really, as cliché as it sounds, be yourself and be the one to initiate, because that hijabi may be thinking the same thing but is too shy to go up to you. Then you’ll have to live the rest of your life wondering what being that hijabi’s friend/study partner is like. And nobody wants that on their conscience. So don’t be the wonder-er, be the cool girl and say something!

By the way, you should totally leave some stories and relatable comments in the comment section below for me to read!