Here’s Why I’m Done Apologizing for Not Being a Stick Figure

I am a full-figured, voluptuous woman. Some people can relate, while others simply judge. Weight has always been a battle I tried to defeat. Just this year, I realized that it is not a war I need to fight; it is a piece of me I need to accept.

Many can identify with this internal issue that we deal with on a daily basis. I picture myself in the mirror as someone that others see differently. We judge ourselves more than the world does, and this is due to the need for acceptance from society, rather than acceptance from ourselves. It takes a lot of mental strength and self-love to truly appreciate yourself and love yourself for all that you are. I applaud the many full-figured women who have pushed for our sizes to be accepted as part of a universally-accepted norm. Size zero and size twenty should both be viewed as beautiful, no matter what the number implies.

Young girls are bullied because of their weight. Sadly, mature women are frowned at because of their weight as well. It’s as if “weight” has become a trend that we all need to be a part of in order to “fit in”. Last time I checked, voluptuous women were a man’s ideal body type. Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell, Diana Dors, and many more iconic figures have possessed this once-desired body type. We have many influencers in the present day who contribute their voices towards discrimination based on weight and societal acceptance. Ashley Graham, a well known plus-size model, has advocated for voluptuous women to be noticed and accepted. Social media phenomenon, and positive body advocate, Nabela Noor, is another influential woman who expresses self-love on her social media and YouTube platform. (P.S. I am such a Bella fan! You go, girl!)

The important thing is that whatever you do, you do for yourself, and not for society’s acceptance.

Moving on…I am 5’2″ (being generous with the height), and I weigh 220 lbs. I may not appear to weigh that much, but I do. My body type is proportioned and voluptuous all over. Ah, for the love of thickness! Your girl has got it all, and my husband loves each and every bit of flab I possess. I truly feel that men would love a thick chick if they didn’t fear what others would say. Voluptuous women would be loved and appreciated for their curves and flaws if a man was man enough to shun what society deems worthy, and be true to their own opinions.

Women would be more confident and comfortable with their bodies if the world did not make it out to be something horrible, when it is not. Let’s go further back than the 1950’s, and let’s talk about ancient times. There was a time when the bodies of Greek goddesses — those beautiful, full-figured, voluptuous bodies — were hot sh*t. Aphrodite, the goddess of love, was one voluptuous goddess, but she also loved a woman who bragged wide hips, and possessed fat buttocks. Women like that had a direct line to Aphrodite.

This ancient conversation about a woman’s figure is important. To lend some context to why voluptuous bodies were once desired, history explains that food shortages were an issue, and that the environment played a huge part in that. So if a woman was able to increase her weight, even during the shortage, she had an advantage over others. Even Stone Age era art expresses that robust and round female figures were the ideal body shape for women.

Some countries possess a cultural attachment to weight. Women’s weight can symbolize her wealth. In present-day Ghana, a woman who is well-fed is a positive symbol. Maturity, fertility, strength, and wisdom are just a few traits women are considered to possess if they are full-figured. As I researched, I noticed that in other countries in Africa, contests were arranged for curvaceous women. Curvy-figured women are considered highly attractive for the men in Africa.

Now, I want to be clear that not all of these countries and traditions are always great or healthy. Force-feeding does exist, and that is not a positive contribution to a voluptuous lifestyle. A severe increase in weight can induce many health conditions. I am not saying that being overweight is healthy, or that women who are obese should continue to live an unhealthy lifestyle. I want to express the importance of this matter because it is a serious concern. It is one thing to be healthy and full-figured. It is another thing to consume loads of unhealthy foods, and not possess a healthy lifestyle as well. One must take care of themselves in order to be the best they can be.

Even if you are skinny, you are still a log in a world full of sticks because you are still an outcast if you don’t fit in with what the rest of the world expects from you.

Ultimately, the concept of what constitutes an ideal body type is now being altered. Women who once loved to possess a voluptuous body type are now struggling to become a woman promoted by Western fashion. They are increasingly altering their bodies to fit into the clothing standards of Western designers. A curvaceous body type is now changing into an androgynous figure. Of course, there is no issue with changing yourself to be happy. The important thing is that whatever you do, you do for yourself, and not for society’s acceptance. You want to be thin? Be thin! You want to be thick? Be thick! Do it on your own terms and agreements, not because someone does not like the way you look, or how much you weigh. Your self-love is worthy and valued. Even if you are skinny, you are still a log in a world full of sticks because you are still an outcast if you don’t fit in with what the rest of the world expects from you. If I did not become larger in size, I would not have learned to value myself for who I am, rather than what I look like. Being curvaceous in a society that is increasingly valuing what size zero represents truly teaches you to applaud yourself and accept who you are.

No one else is going to give you a standing ovation for all that you do, the way you would for yourself. And in a society that continues to judge women for their appearance, no matter what end of the scale they fall on, I’m going to continue to clapback to the haters and the discriminators who only care about what the rest of the world thinks, rather than what they feel independently.