Hateful comments are literally everywhere. And more often than not, these disparaging comments and remarks come from family, acquaintances, friends, or, worse still, strangers we don’t even know and never heard of. Which is utterly bizarre.
Giving them the benefit of the doubt, these people who hate on us aren’t necessarily bullies; they can be aggressive because they just don’t understand us, or they’ve misinterpreted your words — which is why we’re only responsible for what we say, but not how people perceive it. Or they may just be bullies, plain and simple.
Because honestly, at the end of the day, we’re all bound to project what’s within us onto others, but only a few will actually pause and reflect. And since it’s easier to hate than love, here’s how you can handle hateful comments while maintaining your character whether it’s in person, or on social media.
Take Your Time Before You Answer
If the hateful comment that you got is actually on social media, then you’ve got the privilege of taking your time, and by that, I mean really taking your time before you respond.
So, never ever respond immediately because if you do, it probably wouldn’t be the best response. Rather, take your time, breathe, and let your rage, or whatever negative feeling you have, calm down first.
And only when you feel you’re able to hold a conversation without stooping so low, then yes, respond to that person while maintaining your respect for them. If you feel you’re not able to maintain the conversation for so long because they keep on attacking you, then warn them that you don’t want to engage in conversations that are all about insulting and attacking. If they don’t change their rhetoric, remember that you’re under no obligation to engage with anyone — especially online.
Why should I even respect someone who doesn’t even respect me?
Because you’ll find yourself calm and collected. Also, you’ll know what it feels like to be able not to let someone control your mood and even ruin your day with some words — which will make you so proud of yourself as well for maintaining your grace even under bad situations.
And, who knows? You might end up winning that person to your side immediately because you didn’t take their comment personally and respected them — it happens, yes.
What If These Hateful Comments were in Real Life?
Try your hardest not to react. If anything, you need to focus on being totally composed during such a moment, because if you don’t, you’ll end up proving to the person and those around you that this person was correct when said what they said about you. In essence, if you know so well that you’re not what the other person is saying about you, then you should be assertive, and confident people don’t get defensive or throw tantrums.
If we let ourselves be fragile — so much so, a word can control our entire existence, then we’re diminishing our right of being unapologetically who we are.
Use Their Hate As A Drive to Improve
Oftentimes people will mock our abilities or belittle them, and we end up feeling worthless — like we’ll never be good enough no matter how many times we tried. Comparisons play a role too; as we find ourselves compared to other people whom we know and whom we don’t even know.
In fact, some people will just hate on us because they can’t be us, and they hate that so much. Other times, we get this apparent hate, which is more of a backlash, because we actually did something wrong. Either way, these are not valid reasons to justify any form of hate, mockery, belittlement, disparagement, or any threats that target the identity of the person rather than focus on holding constructive conversations.
In situations where we find ourselves doing someone or something wrong, it’s best that we admit it and apologize. It’s always best to let the person know that we didn’t mean to do any harm if we really didn’t mean it. Then, comes our time to take this situation as an opportunity to work on our shortcomings and make sure we don’t do anything similar.
We’re all a work in progress, and we’re always going to mess things up and screw others entirely. So, focus on changing for the better as much as you can.
Avoid Roasting Your Haters
When you find your haters trolling, avoid replying to them because things will only get worse, and you’ll just be wasting your time. So, as much as you want to put them in their place, you have to estimate the consequences first. The best thing you can do is to focus on maintaining your good character, and if you reply, kill them with kindness.
Being formal with your haters will help you stay calm for as long as you can possibly handle; because when you’re formal, you tend to control your emotions. If anything, do your best to maintain your professional, respectful persona — that’s the persona you need to use when you encounter any form of hate. In other words, set healthy boundaries, and avoid hating back at all costs.
We’ve all been exposed to hate, and we all know how that feels like. And since it won’t stop, do your precious self a favor and help it develop a thick skin to handle hateful comments with grace and move forward.