By While Jahed Choudhury is not the first gay Muslim man to get married, his widely shared experience speaks to the adversity LGBTQ+ Muslims continue to face.
Choudhury, the 24-year-old son of Bangladeshi immigrants, says he has been harassed by Muslims and non-Muslims alike for his sexual orientation. “Some people would spit on me, empty rubbish bins on me, call me a pig or a f – -,” he relates. This bullying led Choudhury to pray to become heterosexual; even today he says he “would give anything not to have been born gay.”
After self-harming and attempting suicide, he came out to his mother, who respected him, though she still believed he would soon outgrow it as a phase.
“Some people would spit on me, empty rubbish bins on me, call me a pig or a f- -,” he relates.
For the next few years, Choudhury tried to suppress his identity–he sought guidance from Imams at his mosque, traveled to Bangladesh and Saudi Arabia for pilgrimages, took medication and tried aversion therapy. When nothing worked, Choudhury, worried that his being gay would hurt his family’s reputation, attempted to take his life once more.
Recently released from the hospital, Choudhury sat crying on a park bench, when Sean Rogan sat down to comfort him. “For me, it was love at first sight. I felt Sean was my guardian angel that day, sent to pick up the pieces of my life,” Choudhury said of his husband. As a Roman Catholic, Sean empathized with his future husband and supported him fully. Soon, the two were engaged.
The Choudhury family decided to keep the wedding low-profile to avoid backlash. Dressed in traditional Bangladeshi clothes, they had a small service followed by a party with both of their families and friends.
When nothing worked, Choudhury, worried that his being gay would hurt his family’s reputation, attempted to take his life once more.
Though both his parents accept him, Jahed is very much aware that many other Muslims do not. He acknowledges that he is probably unwelcome at his local mosque, though he prays five times a day and continues to be a practicing Muslim.
Despite their hushed wedding, the couple still worried about harassment. “For years I haven’t been able to leave my home without someone spitting in my face for being gay, and now I’m worried it will be even worse for having married a white man,” Jahed Choudhury said. He has recently started receiving death threats.
The two of them, both of whom dream of becoming television presenters, are currently unable to work. Jahed struggles with post-traumatic stress disorder, a result of the constant abuse he has faced, and Sean has anxiety, leading the couple to see counselors.
Though both his parents accept him, Jahed is very much aware that many other Muslims do not.
Though speaking out has made Jahed and Sean the targets of abuse, they will continue to do so to help gay children of all faiths know they are not alone and “to encourage greater understanding and acceptance” from all people.
The young couple, who hope to have children in the future, remain hopeful that they will eventually be accepted. They received a taste of this acceptance on their honeymoon to Spain.
“On our honeymoon… no one cared if we were gay, everyone was very welcoming to us and it felt like we were free. We felt happy.”
With brave couples like the Choudhury and Roger, speaking out a chance at happiness becomes that much more real for all LGBTQ+ people, both Muslim and non-Muslim.
May God bless them both and continue to guide and inspire them!
Ameen
Yes!!!
As a fellow Bangladeshi, I’m happy for him and hope the best for both of them
And the conclusion is? are you accepted LGBT or what? This news is horrifying
I wonder when the teachings of the Quran took a backseat for those who call themselves ‘Muslim’ and how homosexuality became acceptable even though Allah destroyed a whole nation as a result of this perverted lifestyle choice. I was more amused by the author describing this man as ‘practicing’ man because he prays five times a day, but fails to mention how Allah described the people of Lut as engaging in a sin so grave no nation before them engaged in it. If 21st Century so called Muslims want to normalise every value that contradicts the teachings of the Quran and the prophet (saw), then it’s ok for them to take the label of ‘Muslim’, but that does not mean that they are Muslim in the sight of Allah or according to His judgement.
The tone of this whole article, and many of the comments remind me of the hadith ‘Whoever imitates a people is one of them.’
Islam is not a title, label or a nationality. It is a way of life, and anyone who contradicts or rejects the pure system of Islam is not and cannot be a Muslim no matter how many times they pray or how many layers they wear.
Good luck to the founders of this blog who pave the way to misguidance for themselves and for the clueless.
Agreed. Islam and Homosexuality is a contradiction. Actually, for that matter, Judaism & Christianity, who happen to be the people of the book & are the precedents of our message from God, have equal punishments to that of homosexuals.
I agree 100%, a practicing muslim? Astagfirullah for judging but how can you be that weak to give into desires of Shaitaan if this is true? Nobody is born gay, even your precious science can’t admit this fact (to the atheists).
Now in regards to the Sharia, everyone is free to do what they want to do behind close doors as it is between them and Allah swt. If you don’t know the witnesses rule then look it up and even the witness who comes with a false testimony, his punishment is more severe that nobody can be believe him again. If you want to do sexual gay acts behind close doors, you’ll still get punished but doing it openly and outwardly to please a society that will never be stable is pathetic. Allah Swt talks about those who boast about their immoralities to the public and this is a prime example.
Koran doesn’t say death as a punishment to homosexuals but old testament does say that.
Yes but the Hadiths do.
And when did being gay became Islamic? stop inserting your so called westernism into Islam.
Oh…THE IRONY…MUSLIM SCUM persecute and kill homosexuals…This blog is completely LAUGHABLE…LOL!
Practicing ISLAM should be a HATE CRIME.