It may come as a shock to many people but I didn’t get married just to have kids. Sure, I want to build a family with my husband, but I would like to do that at a time that suits him and I, not when all the people around us keep interfering and inquiring about our sex life to deduce if I’m getting pregnant.
I’ve only been married a few months and already, I have been asked intrusive questions regarding having a baby. I just don’t get how acquaintances and family can think it’s okay to ask questions about my personal life. Surely that’s between myself and my husband? On top of everything, since getting married, I have gained a few pounds which I’m honestly not fussed about, as I expected it to happen. However, when people ask me and assume that I’m pregnant rather than just assuming that I’ve gained a bit of weight, that annoys me. If I wasn’t married, you wouldn’t ask, so why does being married make me fair game? Seriously, just let me get fat in peace, okay?
Another thing: here’s a reminder to stop with these random superstitions where you think I’m pregnant because I’m eating something that you associate with pregnancy. I may just like that food, thank you very much, without it meaning anything. Let me eat whatever I want without it starting a fresh round of 21 questions.
Sure, I want to build a family with my husband, but I would like to do that at a time that suits him and I, not when all the people around us keep interfering and inquiring about our sex life to deduce if I’m getting pregnant.
I can totally understand if perhaps our parents inquired about it, but even then, they should be respectful of our relationship and be patient. When it happens, trust me, we’ll let you know. We want our families to be a part of their grandchildren’s lives, so it’s not like we’re trying to hide a pregnancy from them.
Pregnancy is a sensitive subject for many people, as you could be triggering a response of hurt from a mother trying to get pregnant. Intruding into her personal matters is insensitive, particularly when she didn’t ask for your help or advice. She clearly didn’t want to share it with you, so take a hint.
I just want to know how you can place yourself as someone who needs to know this information, even though you may not be close to the couple. What makes it okay for you to ask such questions in the first place? Do you think you have some sort of right to know this information, because I can tell you now, you don’t! It just isn’t your place.
Let’s not forget that some couples don’t actually want to have kids, and that is their choice to make without judgement from us. They can be in a happy and fulfilling relationship without having children if they don’t wish to, or maybe even can’t have kids because of a medical condition. So why are you putting pressure on them by asking questions when you don’t need to?
Please also be aware of how this could affect the husband/wife relationship, especially if they are trying but aren’t able to conceive. The societal pressure could be a huge burden on them, and they may feel like they are letting everyone down, even though this is beyond their control.
Honestly, just let us live our lives. If we want to tell you, we will, but that doesn’t mean you can ask and invade our privacy like this has anything to do with you. This is private matter between husband and wife, and it’s their business and their choice to share. It’s not for you to insert yourself just because you think you have a right to know because you are family or friends with the couple.
So please, keep any interest you have to yourself. It doesn’t benefit anyone for you to ask invasive questions that may even make a women feel insecure about herself. Never forget that pregnancy is a matter between husband and wife, and they are allowed to keep this a private matter regardless of your relationship with them.