Dear young mothers,
Congratulations on your new baby girl, ma shaa Allah, she is absolutely beautiful. So your baby is now three months old, more alert, and smiles often, but all of a sudden won’t sleep for longer than two hours at night. You are exhausted. You are emotional. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to also be angry.
“You should be thankful to God and not cry or get angry, this is your baby!” an older mother might tell you when you rant to her.
But you are thankful. And it is okay to have these emotions. You just carried a baby for nine long months, went through hours and hours of labor, and maybe you had a rough delivery.
Sometimes you can’t get up when the alarm goes up for fajr because you’ve been cluster feeding your newborn for hours, and when your colicky baby finally falls asleep at night, you pass out right away and miss isha prayer.
You might one day realize that while you’ve been tending to your child all day, time has flown, and you realize you haven’t prayed asr, but it’s too late, because it’s maghrib time. You might realize the last time you read Quran or listened to an Islamic lecture was months ago.
It’s okay, mama. You’ve got this. Ask God for help, forgiveness, guidance, and patience and keep trying.
For all your struggles, your commitment, your selflessness, your sleepless nights, your physical pain, your emotions, your body changes, your patience, your unconditional love for your child.
Being a mother has its challenges, but know that even if nobody tells you that you’re doing a good job at being a mother, that God sees, and God knows you are. And even if your hard work goes unnoticed, God does notice it and He will reward you for it.
Being a Muslim mother has its challenges. You have to balance taking care of your children, while also fulfilling your role as a wife, daughter, and a Muslim. So yes, praying on time five times a day can be a challenge. Fasting in Ramadan can be a challenge. It’s okay to ask for help, and to have a support network of close friends and family. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to ask God for forgiveness for missed prayers, and try again. It’s okay to talk to your doctor about post-partum depression if you feel the need to. And when you feel exhausted, hopeless, and upset, remember these beautiful hadithat and verses from the Quran about you:
“The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him: ‘Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother’ (Ahmad, Nasai).”
A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father.”
“We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.” (46:15)
Dear young mother, don’t despair. Ask for help if you need it. Be gentle on yourself. You got this, and God got you.