I started this blog with a promise: to be honest about my experiences. Well, I have been wanting to write about set backs I have had for a while now but I felt ashamed and scared of how people would react. But, I made a promise, and the whole reason I started this blog was to help other converts! How can I do that if I am not honest to you about EVERYTHING involved in converting to Islam?
When you first convert to Islam, everything is new and exciting. You look forward to everything you still have to learn and cannot wait to uncover all the far realms of this beautiful religion that you found. Your new brothers and sisters are all very excited for you and keen to teach you things and join you in the mosque. The fact that you most probably upset your family and lost many of your friends over this choice you made seems irrelevant compared to this feeling that you are at the start of an amazing journey.
After a while however, things start to sink in. Other Muslims are not as excited to teach you anything anymore, let alone even talk to you when you see them in the mosque. You start to realize your family may not actually see how good this is for you and will continue to fight you on it for many more years to come. You start to feel a little lonely, because 99% of your friends never really call you anymore because you can’t go out drinking and partying with them. And keeping up with reading Qur’an, praying five times a day, always covering up perfectly, and not engaging in any inappropriate behavior gets increasingly difficult.
The important thing to do when you start to feel this way is to try and list all the blessings Allah (SWT) showered you with since you took this step. For example, the fact that I now have Allah (SWT) to talk to and to ask for guidance at any time and place has made me a much calmer and more confident person. I realize that the friends He (SWT) left to drift away from me were never really friends to start with! Because is something that ends when you stop drinking and smoking really a friendship? He has opened my eyes to my real friends and has blessed me by keeping them close to me and having them be there for me when I needed cheering up. He has given me the strength to study hard for my exams and supported me in my journey out of my home country and towards new opportunities in London. After a while, you will realize you could go on for hours talking about all the good things that came your way…
Another thing that is extremely important is to surround yourself with people that will be good for your Imaan. And that doesn’t necessarily mean surrounding yourself with just Muslims! Having a lot of Muslim friends is a great form of support but it should certainly not be your source of knowledge of Islam. Different people will tell you different stories so sticking to high quality books is the better way to go. It can also become overwhelming to be around fellow Muslims all the time. After all, I wasn’t a Muslim for the twenty first years of my life, I need time to adjust… Just make sure you do not spend time with people that will lead you astray. Ask Allah (SWT) for guidance in your friendships and follow your heart.
But despite all of this, I had setbacks. I remember one time, I just stopped wanting to pray. The way I deal with setbacks is to give myself a break. Remember, converting to Islam has changed your life drastically and will continue to do so, but forcing yourself into things and pushing too hard may eventually lead you to resent all these changes. For example, when I first converted, I was introduced to a group of converted sisters of about my own age. Unfortunately, out of the five of us, two have now distanced themselves from their faith, even though they were initially much stricter than I was! It’s all about keeping everything balanced, and having good Muslim as well as non-Muslim friends around you is a big part of that! Do not listen to people that judge the way you worship Allah (SWT) , just keep reading books and asking for his guidance and support.
One day during Ramadan, I broke my fast, and then decided not to fast the day after that. Although I realize the sin I have committed and the blessings I have missed out on, I know it was the right decision. The fast was leaving me completely exhausted and emotionally wrecked. I needed a break in order not to walk away from it all together. I was hesitating whether I made a huge mistake, but when I prayed Fajr the morning after, all alone in the darkness of the sleeping house, I suddenly started to cry. I asked Allah (SWT) for forgiveness and felt the warmth of His guidance and support flowing through me again.
Islam is such a beautiful religion and Allah (SWT) does not mean for its teachings to be a burden on us, keep that in mind when you are having a hard time. Take a step back, breath, and ask for His forgiveness when you are ready for it… Because He will be there for you.
Salaam sister, I really love this article I can absolutely understand what you have gone through because sometimes I suffer from the same.But finally I realize the truth, I feel like when I’m about to fall apart I just get a sign from Allah what gets me back on the right way straight away.How do you men when you first converted?Have you converted more than once?
Salam sister!
Thank you for your comment:)
But dont worry, I converted only once, I just meant when i converted…
Assalaamu’alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
My first time here and this post had already given a good first impression to this whole site! Someone shared this article on twitter and it’s amazing how I don’t regret signing up an account here.
The first paragraph got me curious as to why you might “scare” your readers away. I read on until the third paragraph and felt somewhat sad because I wish I could do more than what I do. For some time I’ve been giving a bit of da’wah online, and tried my best to keep brothers and sisters company when things go wrong, but recently my little conscience has been telling me that it’s best that I don’t interact with sisters alone on WLM/Yahoo messengers anymore. Never do I want Shaytaan to be a third party. Before I took one sister off my list I tried to explain to her that I kept her on my list just so that I could speak for the last time. Then I tried to give her other means to stay in touch with Muslim sisters instead. And we parted for Allah’s sake.
To the reverts, no matter how much you’re going through, don’t ever loose hope in Allah. Patience is half our Imaan and there has got to be a great reward from that. I myself wish that I could do more than typing letters, but I believe that Allah will answer my Du’as to the reverts out there.
It was narrated that Suhayb said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “How wonderful is the affair of the believer, for all his affairs are good, and this applies to no one except the believer. If something good happens to him, he gives thanks, and that is good for him, and it something bad happens to him, he bears it with patience, and that is good for him.”
(Narrated by Muslim, 2999)
Anyways, I think this article is an advice that’s just excellent for reverts to read. Please keep up the good work!
Salam alaikum!
Thank you so much for your comment:)
It makes me very happy to know if i inspire or help even just one or two people with my blog.
Keep up the good work and I hope to see you on muslimgirl again soon.
Hey I just wanted to Thank you for sharing this story. I’m not a convert but I just recently really looked into my religion and I understand that it is hard trying to keep up with everything. Especially if you’ve never been introduced to these kind of concepts for the first 20 years of your life (eg Islamic Modesty etc). Which is why its best for people like me to follow the moderate way and do exactly as you have said above 🙂 Inshallah one day I won’t be so lazy etc and I pray Allah forgives me.
Love your article its very Inspiring. Peace be upon a you and I wish you a great life in both worlds.
Thank you so much for your sweet comment! It really makes me smile when my story encourages others:)
As Salaam Alaykum!
I really appreciate your honesty. As a convert, I can totally relate. Its good to know that other converts have had similar experiences to mine. Your post is another gift from Allah SWT to keep me going.
Jazakallah Khair!
Thank you so much for your support! Be sure to follow me on Twitter (MGbubbles) and Facebook (House of Bubbles) to keep track of my upcoming articles;)
Also I recommend you to read this Blog. She is a Muslim but she isn’t the preachy sort. Its fun, check it out:
http://www.zaufishan.co.uk/
Thank you for the tip! I like it alot:)
As Salaam Aleykum !!! My sisters, I am very glad and happy and excited and thankful (and so on :)) to join this website because I am a convert too, converted on 22th November 2009! the best days of my life… Allah SWT had shown me the right way by the help of some of my friends (converts like me ). I am from Turkey, and I didn’t know anything about Islam,but in heart I always believed that there must be a creator… my country seems to be a muslim country but no way! most of the people are sleeping,they are deceived by some historical events,lies,politicians because they were more Islamic a century ago. Anyways, now I live in Switzerland for masters degree in a university and would like to meet if there are other sisters. I try to be a good muslim,my one and only wish, read most of Kur’an and still reading before I sleep. I pray whenever I can. I don’t wear Hijab although I want too much because of my famiy :((
By the way,I’m searching for online shopping in Islamic way,different hijab styles,tops,summer solutions:)
Thanks to the moderator and be peace upon you all!
Salam alaikum sister!
Thank you so much for your comment.
Unfortunately I have no contacts at all in Switzerland and most islamic clothing shops I know are either English or American… The best way to find out more about where you live is to find a nearby mosque and make friends with sisters there;)
I hope you will keep coming around here to read up on our articles.
Feel free to follow me on twitter (MGbubbles) or Facebook (House of Bubbles) to keep track of when I post things!
Peace be Upon You
Bubbles
Salute! (‘_’)7
“Ask Allah (SWT) for guidance in your friendships and follow your heart.”
So wise. Many of us don’t learn this lesson until much later in life. Best wishes as you continue your journey.
thank you so much for your support:)
Salaam wa’alaikum sister, I really enjoyed reading this post. As a convert and having many a setbacks myself (particularly at this moment) I can relate to this post deeply as it is a big change in our lives entering a new world and not quite departing with the old. I feel inspired and reminded to be a better muslim/person after reading your post and to realise all the good Allah has given me. Thank you sister 🙂
Alhamdulillah:) its great to hear I can help someone… I wish you strength in staying on the right path…
Salaam Sisters, there’s something what I like, please listen and you will know the reason why!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f96bGluhss
Thank you sister!
I loved it.
I have been away for a while and finding this as I come back was really inspiring 🙂
Bless you
Salaam sister,
This was the first article i read, and it was great! Thanks for your post :] I’m also facing these set backs, but you’re right once I sit back and take a breather I get back on track, alhamdulillah. I’m a convert too and I was really able to relate to your article, thank you for that burst of inspiration :]
JazakAllah Khair !
You are very welcome 🙂
Good luck!
Salaam Sister, what’s going on with the website? The editor seems to be missing because I can’t see any new posts after september!However I tried to post atricle in october and even sent an email to the editor but I did not get any reply!
Salam Sister!
I am so sorry! I think Amani has been extremely busy and I have just been away for a while. I am back now and will try and post more insh’allah!
Salaam sis,
It might be the editor might be in those positions where you don’t have time to do things nowadays.
Hopefully Insha’Allah everything will be all right 😀 You just can’t do anything now, time just flies past :O
You are very right.
We will try and post some more articles over the next few months Insh’Allah
Thank you!!! Sometimes I forgett that Allah is with me, not against me. The creator intends for faith to be easy because he knows his creation better than anyone, better than we think we know ourselves 🙂 We need to remind ourselves of this pespective when it is getting hard for us
Salam