By It’s tough out there for a Muslim Girl.
Islamophobes, anti-hijab feminists, racists, misogynists, and murderous clowns to name a few of the big bad wolves we encounter in our daily lives. Then there’s that puzzling species of men who offer marriage proposals in public places. More often than not, these proposals will come after an interaction of a few minutes at most.
Amazingly, a glance on the street can sometimes be enough to enable these brothers to make a decision as life-altering as choosing a marriage partner.
Whilst I encourage empowerment in any positive form, and applaud brothers for following Beyonce’s advice which advocates that: “if you like it, you should put a ring on it,” approaching a random woman on the street to ask her to marry you is just plain weird. Perhaps this phenomenon is a valid indication that Disney values have infiltrated Muslim practices?
After all, you can’t get more Disney than a handsome prince on his travels coming across a fair maiden and, becoming so bewitched with her beauty, he immediately offers his hand in marriage.
But no matter how much we wish it, or buy the T-shirt, we are not Disney princesses and most of us generally do not welcome this kind of approach.
In order to help all my awesome sisters manage the barrage of public proposals I’ve compiled a list of tips on how to react to these situations with poise, strength, and the level of flippancy this kind of behaviour deserves.
Enjoy!
1. The Fair Warning
Slowly back away as you reach inside your bag for your personal alarm (you can request one free from your local Police department) or, even better, your Muslim Girl Care Package pepper spray and just hold it in front of his face… It might take a while but he will get the message.
2. The Fashionista Fury
Point out that you only wear one-of-a-kind couture from Muslim fashion designers such as Eman Idil Designs, Rima Tadmory, or Maysmode and he can’t handle, or afford, that level of Diva!
3. The #Realtalk
Pull out your phone and quickly memorise some inner-strength empowering wisdom from your favourite Muslim role models of today such as Alaa Murabit, Yasmin Mogahed, Leah Vernon.
Once your “fabulous female meter” is charged, and you are fully aware of how dangerous this potentially toxic relationship could be, reply with so much naseeha he will run away with his ears ringing.
4. The Warrior Woman Warning
Channel your inner kendo girl and use your umbrella to show him how deadly you would be with a samurai sword. But don’t actually hit him, girls, cos you know… assault.
5. The Poetic Put-off
Blink a few times, then start spitting poetry at him.
If you can’t compose any on the spot borrow lines from some of the fabulous poets sharing their work online such as Saraiya Bah, Poetic Pilgrimage, Dena Igusti. Either he’ll be literally blown away by the force of your hurricane words or it will just make the situation so awkward he will walk away.
Don’t forget to share and comment your own funny tips on the Muslim Girl Facebook page!
These are hilarious! But I don’t think I have to worry about them yet since I’m only thirteen ?
That caption picture looks like a bad cartoon version of Jafar and Princess Jasmine. Also, wow. What is with these people and marriage proposals? As if it wasn’t bad enough that they did it online… Do they not understand the concept of a first date? Or, of dating first in general?
Did nobody teach these people basic social appropriateness?