We’ve all heard it before. At parties and family dinners, weddings and bridal showers, any woman over the age of 25 is subject to the same question: “So, when are you getting married?”
We are, by default, considered creatures that must want to (and are expected to) find a mate as soon as we are eligible. A Wall Street Journal article that ran in 2014 was headlined “Young women in college need to smarten up and start husband-hunting.”
There’s this warped idea that if we don’t, there must be something inherently wrong with us–we are dumb, stubborn, or inadequate. “Oh, you haven’t found ‘the one?'” or “Oh, someone will come along.” Sometimes it’s “Oh, you’re the career type?” My answer: I will not hunt, and I am not interested in being hunted.
Women like us do not go looking for “the one” and do not wait for someone to “come along.”
My single status doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with me. It doesn’t mean I’m unlikeable or that a man just hasn’t ambled by, head-over-heels yet. Contrary to popular belief, my role as a woman does not automatically make marriage my primary priority .
I know many women who are happy as housewives. There are others who skillfully juggle marriage, children, and a career. Then there are those women who simply do not marry: Oprah Winfrey, Chelsea Handler, Maya Angelou, Harper Lee, Jane Addams, Jane Austen–the list goes on.
For us, marriage is not high on our list of goals, and our careers are our strong suit. When men are employed and single, they are respected for wanting to be something before wanting to be someone’s. When women are employed and single, they are chastised for being “too preoccupied.”
Yeah….okay. Haha, NO!
To those wondering why I am okay with the prospect of being 30 and single, listen–I have dreams that do not include a man. It’s not that I have an aversion towards marriage, or that I think I’m incapable of juggling a career and a family. I know that if I wanted to, I could.
But I’m content with being of age and single because of just that: I am content.
What I do or do not do wear on my left ring finger is entirely my decision to make, and a right I will exercise in any way I choose.
And no, I do not need a cat.