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Let’s be real, Lulu Najmat isn’t the author’s real name. But since she’s your everyday Muslim American girl facing the same society, parental and peer pressures, she’s decided to go undercover in order to give you real, straight up advice without fear of repercussion. Maybe one day, she’ll reveal her identity. In the meantime, all you need to know is that she’s more than a little obsessed with House of Cards, makes a mean set of lamb chops, and has a precocious cat she’s convinced is her feline doppelganger.