I like to write. I like to write from the heart. Being a writer at Muslim Girl has helped me tap into my talent of writing and has become a favorite activity of mine. I often get suggestions on what to write from my friends and colleagues and I like to write for other people if they serve as an audience and not as the person of interest (like your uncle asking you to promote his restaurant or something). After writing one article with a guy we’ll call “Sit Guy,” (if you’ve seen “Sultan” you’ll get the reference), I realized I definitely don’t like to write to give someone a platform without knowing all the facts. This is the tale of when a Wallah Bro and a Muslim Girl writer collide.
Sit Guy and I have known each other for a while, but never really talked. One day, I had to participate in an event that he was hosting and was a piece of my project. This was the first time we had a great full conversation. He told me about his job and I went a little TMI when I brought up my aspirations, my day job, and my favorite books. That’s when he said with awe, “I hope you become successful one day. I’ll remember you.” That sentence stuck with me for a long time and I couldn’t get it out of my head. No guy has ever believed in me when all the other guys haven’t.
If he was considerate, he would find some way to work on our projects that didn’t involve Satan as the third wheel on our not-really-a-date date. tweet
I was in denial as I was starting to catch feelings for him. The one friend I have who I can talk about boys with advised me that my feelings were valid and that I shouldn’t be afraid to fancy this guy. As an independent woman in this situation, I was weak. I liked Sit Guy because we had a lot in common, he believed in me, and he was kind. I liked him so much I even told my family about him.
The first time I wrote with this guy, it was for a certain topic that was up for discussion and I thought, “Hey what better way to work with him on a piece for Muslim Girl, since he knows the topic?” He thought it was a great idea and suggested that I write a piece for his blog. He even suggested that we meet somewhere to get it done. I didn’t know how to respond because I can’t just go out with some guy alone even if it’s to get work done. I made a bad decision by lying to my mom, but she knew how much of a terrible liar I was and found out.
I felt so bad, but alhamdulillah she’s forgiving and understanding. I ended up not going altogether. The moral of this is if you have to lie to your parents to do something behind their backs, don’t do it and Allah is always watching you. If he was considerate, he would find some way to work on our projects that didn’t involve Satan as the third wheel on our not-really-a-date date. Luckily, we ended up finishing our projects online.
I liked where our friendship was going. I had a hunch that he might like me back because he shared my work and we had great conversations over text. He would ask me if I was okay and he reminded me that he was there for me. Whenever he would text me, I would be blushing. I’ve never felt comfortable like that with a guy and I loved it. I thought he and I would have a future together. Oh, and did I mention he’s a feminist with a great job and gets to travel?
A few months later, he and I worked together again. This time he wanted me to write something for his blog on a particular theme and he wanted me to write an article for Muslim Girl about the success of his blog and how he will take it to the next level. That was done and done. As soon as my piece for Muslim Girl went up, he called it “beautiful.” The one word I now never want any male to say to me. When my piece for his website went up, he let people on Facebook know it was “beautiful” and I felt a little sick.
What caused this feeling of sickness, you might ask? It all started when Sit Guy asked me to fix a typo in the article. My editor came up with the title anyways, so it was no big deal. I could just send a group message and it would be fixed just like that. That happened and then one of my colleagues (who is someone I now call my big sister) responded saying she actually knows Sit Guy and all the bad things he’s done! She and I texted each other privately and she was had receipts left and right! I learned he’s a delusional sexist pig who manipulates vulnerable women. So much for a feminist. He uses people like me to get the attention he craves and plays the victim. Also, he’s not really an expert on his topic, so there goes his credibility.
How could a guy like him play me like that? How could a guy like him do that? I was in denial and was furious after that. I’m not the kind of person you want to mess with because if I get angry, I get petty. I asked my editor to delete the articles with him and I blocked him on social media. I even had to unshare the Google Doc of my piece for his blog, but I was too late. He and his friend put up the piece already. I guess our friendship was going downhill from here.
Now that my family and friends know about him, he kind of has a bad reputation at this point. What saddens me the most was I thought he was the one. I really thought Sit Guy was different, but ya Allah! What was I thinking?! I’m so thankful my big sister let me know because I can’t imagine what would have happened otherwise.
I learned he’s a delusional sexist pig who manipulates vulnerable women. So much for a feminist. He uses people like me to get the attention he craves and plays the victim. Also, he’s not really an expert on his topic, so there goes his credibility. tweet
I always tell myself that I’m too independent for my own good. That should be my mantra from now on. I’m not going to find my self worth through someone else, but myself. Also, when it comes to boys, looks AND personality can be deceiving! Sit Guy was the “Nice Wallah Bro” which is a portmanteau of a “Nice Guy” and a “Wallah Bro.” At the end of the day, I just need to keep on grinding for me and only me. Plus, Allah is someone I need to think about when I wake up, get through the day, and sleep instead of some guy who won’t mean nothing to me later.
So to all you Wallah Bros that come to me or my #MuslimGirlClique asking for your 15 seconds of fame, no problem! I’ll just feature you on #WallahBroWednesday. And Sit Guy, if you’re reading this, your 15 seconds of fame is over.