Written by Anonymous.
For 20 years, I had suffered physical and emotional abuse by the hands of my step mother. Its impact is something that I carry with me to this day. She had herself and me, a young and innocent child of seven, convinced that I was the cause of all of her problems.
The abuse began when my father married her. I was so happy that I would finally have a mother and I looked forward to the days when I could finally tell the kids at the park that I would tattletale on them if they hurt me. Shortly after my father’s marriage, I had learned quickly that this wasn’t the case.
It started with her highlighting what she found not so pretty about my physical appearance and progressed to her questioning my discipline. She would envy any good quality about me and more importantly, she loathed the love that my father had for me and my siblings.
Slowly, she became ruthless in her pursuit of making us feel unwanted in our own home — the same home that she joined after us. She would scream, hit, manipulate and even concoct stories about our supposed misbehavior.
She would envy any good quality about me and more importantly, she loathed the love that my father had for me and my siblings.
Then, she became pregnant with my brother and not soon after, my sister. Shortly after that, a split with my father sent her on her way and out of our lives. I made it a mission to show my siblings the kind of love that I wished I had as a child. The kind of love that is unconditional. So I sacrificed, bent and broke my soul to become a positive figure in their life until, one day, they turned on me too.
This time, she had painted the narrative for my siblings that not only had I ruined her marriage with our father, but that the reason that they didn’t have a nuclear family is because of me.
This was soul crushing because for some reason, I made myself believe that our relationship could never be tainted by her. I was wrong. Right from the beginning, it was conditional. She wouldn’t let me see them unless I bent over backwards for her. She wouldn’t let my siblings enjoy their time with me unless she could criticize everything I did for them. As a result, when the time came, they made a choice to adopt their mother’s dominant narrative. One that consistently blamed me for my step mother’s problems.
I made myself believe that our relationship could never be tainted by her. I was wrong. Right from the beginning, it was conditional.
Every time I feel as if I have broken free from her, she makes me realize that she will never stop unless she makes sure that she destroys my life. Now, she goes around and continues to assassinate my character by telling everyone that I refuse to have a relationship with my siblings. Sometimes I wish that I could set the record straight but I had learned early on that she is a master manipulator. That I could pour my heart out to our mutual relations and still they would ignore the red flags. That even unbeknownst to themselves, they would enable her by somehow fighting on her behalf.
That being said, I have learned to keep quiet and move on, as much as it pains me to have her still do whatever it takes to try and ruin my life. I have learned to not fall into her trap.
More importantly, I am sharing this story to help people who have been traumatized by narcissistic abuse. There are people out there with similar stories who are working on healing. Please click here and here for more information and to start your healing process and break free from the cycle.