By To my Muslim girls down the street and to the ones across oceans and oceans, this one’s for you. Hear it. Learn it. Share it.
1 . #ToTheMuslimGirls: Never apologize for your identity. Never. You matter and you’re all freaking queens.
2. #ToTheMuslimGirls: Whether you’re sporting a hijab or a crop top – own it, girl.
3. #ToTheMuslimGirls: Sometimes it’s cultural and sometimes it’s societal, but someone is always trying to confine us to a box with the “ideal” Muslim girl image labeled on the outside. BREAK THE DAMN BOX.
4. #ToTheMuslimGirls: Mistakes are ok. You are going to be ok. Life happens. So tell Mr. Fatwa and Miss Gossip @ The Masjid to sthu.
5. #ToTheMuslimGirls: The magic of sisterhood will only come into play if you do your part, too. We all need to unite, ya feel me?
6. #ToTheMuslimGirls: Ramadan is coming up, and you don’t have to hide in your closet like a runaway convict to eat that double chocolate chip cookie. You got your period, you did not commit murder. There is nothing to be ashamed of.
7. #ToTheMuslimGirls: If someone (a Wallah Bro) is way too concerned about the level of haram your makeup is — wing that eyeliner, and fly away from them.
8. #ToTheMuslimGirls: Whether it’s our own community picking us a part and playing Good Muslim/Bad Muslim, or the post 9/11 Islamophobic society we live in – it can be pretty damn impossible to be a Muslim girl in the West. But, breathe. You got this. You are not here for them.
9. #ToTheMuslimGirls: If someone compares your existence to a wrapped vs. unwrapped lollipop, an orange, a flower, etc. – give them your best side eye, tell them how problematic their objectification of women is, and then ask those Wallah Bros how it feels to be compared to flies??
10. #ToTheMuslimGirls: I fail at replicating the hijab styles from hijab tutorials on Youtube most of the time, too.
11.#ToTheMuslimGirls: You are more than the misrepresentation of Muslim women portrayed by mainstream media and racist bigots. Raise your voice. You’re extraordinary.
12. #ToTheMuslimGirls: Hair flip or hijab flip. DO YOU, BOO! <3
13. #ToTheMuslimGirls: When you’re at the masjid/family gathering/anywhere really, and you get bombarded with questions about why marriage just isn’t your top priority right now, be like:
14. #ToTheMuslimGirls: Let go of those haters and people that live just to bring you down. Surround yourself with endless positivity and let that noor shine through, girl!
15. #ToTheMuslimGirls: No matter where you are in the world, you’ve got a sister in me and countless other Muslim women. And I think that’s pretty special.
Join the conversation and tweet/comment with your own advice #ToTheMuslimGirls!
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Feature photo by Kashfi Halford
So muslim women don’t like being compared to flowers, and as a retaliation, would call guys flies?? What the hell?
I think you’re accidentally flipping her point around — what I think she’s really trying to say is, if guys don’t like being compared to the flies who *pursue* unwrapped fruit & candy, maybe (some, not all) guys should reconsider how women *themselves* feel about being compared to “unwrapped candy.”
Just to clarify: I’m not trying to say some guys *can* get away with making that comparison, just that not all guys *would.*
The point of that analogy isn’t to insult muslim women who wear hijab as girls who don’t attract guys (flies). The point is to show that an unwrapped candy is much more desireable than one that is open and has already been tainted with flies. It’s meant to compliment the muslim women and praise their modesty, preciousness and worth. Instead, after reading this article, I feel that muslim women are ungrateful of the comparison and would compare the guys who made the analogy to flies. Perhaps the problem lies with the objectification, which is a recurring point in feminism
Here’s an example. Here is a quote from Mohammed Ali to his daughter:
“”Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get to them. Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”
So then, would being compared to diamonds, pearls and gold be another form of objectification, and thus an insult to the feminist mindset? Or would you take it for what it is, a compliment to modesty of muslim women?
It’s still objectification. It is putting the onus on women to make sure that men do not harass them whereas it should be men who take responsibility for their own actions. A woman should be respected whether she is covered or not.
The “flies” thing is a reference to that picture of the wrapped lollipop and the unwrapped one. The unwrapped one has flies hovering around it while the wrapped one does not. Supposedly this is supposed to be a compliment to our covered sisters, but what does that say about our men? That they are mindless animals?
If it’s meant as a compliment to our preciousness, why don’t we use the same analogies for men? Aren’t our brothers just as precious?
You’re right that women should always be respected whether she is covered or not. Growing up attending a madrassa, I was always taught to respect women because they are “like precious flowers”. Never would I have thought girls would ever object to being compared to flowers. Even guys can be objectified, like in sports, male athletes are called “beast”, “animal”, or even “freight train” as a compliment to their sheer strength and speed. Yet men don’t complain about the objectification or take it as an insult.
It truly disgusts me that women are blamed for being harassed or raped. It is always the man’s fault and he should be responsible for his actions. But at the same time, common sense tells me that walking down a shady street with an invisible bag full of money results in me getting robbed. Walking down a shady street undressed as a women results in getting harassed, or even raped. As long as there is that innate desire, that shayton, there will always be evil in this world. There will always be men harassing women and there will always be thieves looking for money.
No offense Kyrie but your way of thinking is not only simple-minded but it is dangerous. Comparing women to wrapped or unwrapped candy is insane. We are human beings!!!
Making random associations to gold or silver isn’t making your point any better. Rainbows are beautiful, rare and precious. Are they covered? No they stand tall and proud.
An uncovered Muslim deserves the same respect as a covered one. It is her choice. Not the world’s. And she should not be made to feel dirty or ashamed.
It’s funny. Prophet Muhammed pbuh never once cast judgement on the people of mecca for rejecting the faith but look how we are casting judgement and rejection on our own brothers and sisters.
I think you missed my point where I said girls deserve respect whether they are covered or not. (i said it in the first sentence actually).
There are metaphors used all throughout hadith and the Quran. They’re not used to look down and shame others, but rather to help Muslims abide by the right path. Helping muslim women see the value in hijab was the main focus of that comparison, but I can see how it can be taken the wrong way and seen as an offense. Shaming women is definitely not the purpose of that comparison, but rather to compliment and help in the understanding of why hijab can be so important.
Just wanted to let you know this post brought me to tears. Sometimes I feel so alone not wearing hijab. I converted in 2012, and I don’t feel ready yet. I have made other changes in my life, given up alcohol, don’t reveal skin anymore (although I have yet to find ways to make this as fashionable as other sisters – but even when I did wear short sleeves, I was never fashionable lol), but outside of prayers, I have not been able to wear a headscarf full time. But I also believe that modesty is about more than just the act of wearing headscarf.
Sometimes the Imam at the masjid I go to makes the khutbah about how all women who do not wear hijab are not loved by Allah swt and are only being persuaded by Shaytan. Also, some other girls I know converted and have worn hijab right from the very first day and never looked back. I feel so happy for them – Alhamdulillah! But for me, I am still on my journey. And I have always felt like less of a Sister because of it before reading this article.
Thank you so much for writing this.
You are a great example sister of someone who is making a sincere effort. I appreciate and respect that you don’t wear hijab yet. What I can’t stand though are the ladies who don’t wear hijab and say they are ‘proud of it’ and get all defensive when you mention hijab. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that at the masjids, that must whomp. I hope Allah swt guides those imams who make the struggle just a little harder for those in difficult situations or those struggling sincerely like yourself. May Allah swt guide us both inshAllah 🙂
Take your time 😀 and start when you are ready 😀
Salam sister! You have every right to process and explore your journey in whichever way makes you the most comfortable. I agree, modesty is more than just wrapping a headscarf. I am so happy you enjoyed this piece and wish you the best of luck! <3
americanmuslimah u did such a good thing all will reward u inshallah and if you actually converted then forget abt the past cause all your sins will be forgived by allah because now your a muslim but always remeber 2 pray 5 times a day read the quran if u can and fast the whole month of ramadan if u can allah will love you more oh yeah and go hajj if you can afford it im not being rude but some people dont get the chance 2 go even when they r rich cause they think tht they can go whn they are older but they dont knw how long they will live.
i am not a religious scholar or an expert on fiqah, but my own humble opinion based on my personal experience,observation , study discussion with people following different believes is what u wear or how u wear does to some extent reflect your personality taste your religious or cultural back ground
Now regarding what is Islamic dress and what is not Islamic or what is appropriate or not appropriate opinion may vary from person to person or place to place.
Here where i live initially i followed traditional ulemas who strictly follow fiqah that non Muslim style dress, hair styles etc is not appropriate for a true Muslim , we should not copy non muslims.
well i respect them and have learned lot of useful things from them and still willing to learn anything worth learning from them
But now i don’t blindly follow or copy them or any one else. i have gone through lot lot of change specially within the last 6 to 7 years and perhaps still changing, i tried lot of different things,made lots of mistake and learned lot of useful lesson
started seeing religion from a different perspective , than stereotype understanding of religion. started reading rumi ,ibn arabi ,ahmed hulusii and others and my understanding of religion and Islam started rapidly changing from traditional stereotype Islam taught by ulema to much more deeper philosophical understanding of key concept of religion
coming back to dress issue , every one and specially girls want to look and feel good and attractive in their dresses and i think it;s a natural urge so long one should not cross certain limits or look or do cheap things.
the core issue as far as i can understand and i am still learning is to know
yourself who u are , who is your creator , purpose of your creation. learning useful practices which will help u in discovering your own secret bring u closer to your creator ,purpose of your creation reaching infinite bliss treasure ,success while still alive .
regarding who is a good Muslim and who is not , simple answer is we are not here to judge each others .do as much good as you can while still alive
finally congratulation to u for accepting Islam ,wish u good look
Navazad
nnaveedazad2003@hotmailcom
start when and IF you are ready. Being a Muslim women is much more than wearing a headscarf. We can’t tell women that hijab is a choice while also saying it is compulsory.
start whatever u can do easily,whatever is made easy for u. whatever good u can do once u start doing it .it opens some other doors for u . do not give yourself the excuse since i can’t wear hijab , i cannot fulfil other requisite of faith .do not get stuck in one issue so much that u start neglecting other useful practices and recommendations. do whatever good u can do for yourself no matter however little it seems to be .
the core issue as far as i can understand for which u and i are here on this planet is to discover who we are , discover our true self , to see the divine kingdom within each one of us. to know our creator purpose of our creation.
learning useful practices which will help us in discovering our own secret, bring us closer to our creator ,purpose of our creation reaching infinite bliss treasure ,success while still alive .
Navazad
I feel you sister. I wear hijab to Mosque and when spending time with other Muslims, but don’t feel comfortable at all yet going full-time. It’s a difficult thing. Just remember Allah SWT knows our intentions and it’s all about our relationship with Him not what ANYONE else says or thinks!! Being a woman is not easy + being a Muslim is not easy and together it is especially not easy so just stick with your own judgement, love yourself, and put Allah Subhana Wa Ta’ala first and everything will fall into place. Any good Muslim friend will understand.
I am a Muslim girl and I don’t like this article. Sorry
Why? Too female positive?
I agree with i love coffee
Sorry
Exactly, at #2 and I was done already!
This Is the most incredible and empowering article I’ve ever read about muslim women .. You’re AMAZING :* I especially LOVED the Makeup part XDD
americanmuslimah dw practice hw to pray and read the quran slowly and youl become a proper muslim
a great read! it put a smile on my face. I never knew how blessed I was to have had such wonderful women in my life growing up a Muslim girl in America, I do now.
Don’t get me wrong, these are pretty accurate, and relatable pointers, but I don’t understand why most of the gifs are of nonmuslim celebrities, and cartoon characters when it’s a piece about Muslim women. If it’s about muslim women, then it should have pictures of muslim women… just saying.
Because there aren’t any hijabis represented in mainstream media, so it’s difficult to find gifs of them.
WOW, i really needed to read this today
#ToTheMuslimGirl: Whether you show a little or a lot of hair while wearing the hijab, you’re still a hijabi. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
You know I really love this. My mother is always forcing me to dress differently. Isn’t it modest to wear a short dress over jeans? Or baggy sweatpants with a hoodie that goes below my butt? I try telling her but she wants me to dress the way she dresses. I’m not ready for a jilbab yet, I’m 14! I don’t want to disrespect my mother because she’s my mother and I love her dearly. She wont let me wear colorful things because it’s not ‘classy’. I LOVE colors and sparkles, I’m sorry mama but I’m modest and ily. Just because the other ladies are always giving me a disapproving look, it doesn’t mean I’m doing anything wrong.
Assalamoalaikum
Desire to look and feel beautiful is a natural urge.Within our core ,our essence there is perfection,free from the limitation of our ego (fear based self) self. This perfection within the depth of our essence wants to express itself. It seems deep within our true self there is a desire to be known, to be appreciated to express the beauty within , to manifest the treasure , the potential within. This urge is manifesting , expressing itself in so many different forms. may be one of this expression is through the latest fashion, fads, trends etc..the problem arises when we fail to see the face of true desire-r, and consider this expression and manifestation of beauty as the achievement of our ego based self, pumping it further, making it proud and further veiled from the truth within.
Regarding hijab and fashion although I am not a fashion expert or guru, neither i try to judge people on the basis of what they wear,but i do feel sometimes that simple hijab makeup with some little tricks give u not only much more elegance and decent looks but also seems to be more attractive than wearing heavy makeup with revealing dresses . Love for beauty is within our essence. seeing this hidden beauty manifesting itself outwardly and appreciating it in everything we see ,touch hear and do fantastic idea.
satisfying one’s natural desire while being faithful to one’s faith and respecting the limits set by your faith
finally its up to women what and how they wear ,it’s not my business but i do recommend at least while going outside wearing some sort of hijab will not only give women more decency but perhaps more security
sometimes i am myself overwhelmed with love for beauty in everything i see, there is an intense urge from within to express this love. perhaps this very urge forced me to write what i have written
Navazad
naveedazad2013@outlook.com
Intrested in islam
Hi everybody I’ve been intrested in islam for awhile now. I’ve done some basic research and read a little quran. There’s just a few things that are holding me back. i’d really like to hear from converts and if they felt the same way too. So here it goes:) I’m sixteen and from a young age have always been intrested in islam. I used to be a christian but I don’t think I can really accept Jesus being god in flesh. I also just don’t have that emotional connection to christianity 🙁 I started doing serious research eairler this year and was really getting that emotional connection (especially seeing videdos of people taking the shahadah!) however i fell out of my research for a bit and forgot about islam for a little while. Recently i have started to research again and am starting to feel that connection once again. However I just have a few worries and quistions about what my life would be like if i reverted when I was older.
1. do born muslims accept reverts or would i be viewed as a not a real muslim and would i have a hard time meeting friends
2. is it hard for reverts to get married?
3. can i talk to boys at all?
4. I don’t speak or read Arabic-is it really difficult to learn.
5. if i make a mistake will i be judged hardcore but other muslims
6. what is daily life like for a muslim women/revert
thank you and may allah bless you
Hey!
I’m not a revert, but I live in Cape Town, South Africa and come from a conservative community, so sometimes I feel like a bit of an outsider – you know what I mean, one foot in the West, one foot in the East and both my hands in the air going “What am I even doing?!” I can tell you from my experience that you should just live your life as you see fit, you know? Don’t let the haters stop you from doing your thang. Here we accept reverts with open arms because it’s like coming home or something. Talk to whoever you want. I don’t read/speak Arabic (I’ve tried, but I’m actually just really poor at it), so if you can’t, try to learn as much as you can manage, but don’t feel pressured. Granted, there’ll always be people judging you, but you just keep on keeping on knowing that you’re true to yourself and you’ll do just fine. These issues are not issues that are endemic to Islam, the patriarchy is alive and well all over the world but you know, we fight it one smokey-eye at a time. Hope this helps in some small way.
Thank you so much 🙂 It helped in a big way 🙂
Hi!
If you have any religious questions I would highly suggest to go to a Mosque closest to you and ask the imam or anyone that can help you there. It’s best to get information from someone who really knows what their talking and don’t rely on internet because there’s a lot of fake websites regarding Islam and Muslims.
Anyway I’ll do the best I can to answer your questions based on what I have been taught since a child.
1. It is our duty to help and guide you through your new lifestyle (once you have converted and even before). We are there to answer your questions and be your friends, after all we are brothers and sisters in Islam 🙂 I’m sure that if you ask, other Muslims will gladly help you.
2. Tbh I don’t really know but I don’t see why it would be. Once you have converted, you’re a Muslim and I don’t see how that would affect marriage.
3. Yeah of course you can, you just can’t intentionally touch them! Haha
4. I don’t speak Arabic. Since a child I have learnt to read the Quran but if someone asked be to read Arabic I wouldn’t know or be able to understand it. I don’t think it’s hard to learn, just take baby steps and soon you will reach your goal.
5. Hmm, it’s hard because if you go on social media you see Muslims judging other Muslims saying, “oh that turban style is haram” but honestly I don’t believe in that kind of talk because Allah told us not to judge others etc etc…
6. The daily life for a muslimah is well normal, to me anyway because I’m so used to it. If you want to know more please feel free to email me: nisa.johnson97@gmail.com
I’m more than happy to answer anymore of your questions 🙂
Thank you so much I would love to email you some questions if that is okay !!!:) I first need to come up with some though 🙂
Skyler
be careful of which mosque you go to though! A lot of reverts will say that going to mosque turned them off from Islam ironically. Many of them have cultural agendas that have nothing to do with religion and they are not all as accepting as they should be. Do some research 🙂 where are you based?
Assalamoalaikum
U Say u have been interested in Islam. u feel the emotional connection , but say few things holding u back from accepting Islam.
Here i would like to share my own little personal experience as sharing sincerely anything we love to share with others any thought,any idea any useful information , any personal experience can enhance our collective vision, provide us with a different perspective of looking at things ,can make our life more colorful can add meaning to our life lately i have been myself going through lot lot of changes. seeing every thing from religion, career,politics , what is happening here, where i live and around the world in totally different perspective communicating, expressing myself on different subject even on subject i would have avoided in the past much more powerfully and honestly than i used to do. something from the depth of my self breaking barriers, expressing itself via myself much more powerfully rather bluntly at times . Trying to under stand why i am or others are attracted or distracted by different forms and things trying to discover my own essence ,my own truth ,i am myself surprised how much i have changed , perhaps we are all experiencing this change and expressing our-selves via different means much more openly and honestly.
These changes have done me lot lot of good. helped me a lot. I feel much more free . there is urge from within our core to seek the truth , but when it is revealed to us and we feel connection with it, our fear based self pops up, the self which fear change, doesn’t like to change, addicted to old ways,thought, wants to remain in the comfort zone ,fear everything and everyone.
But when u gather courage and listen to the voice of your true self, start taking bold decisions
u realize all these concerns, worry , fear and apprehension holding u back from accepting the
truth were mere conjecture manufactured by your fear based self.
lot of people have been attracted to Islam, but may be due to stereotype image of Islam. not finding courage to accept it.
i am not a religious scholar , but little understanding which i have got from studying some highly enlightened ones is that Islam is much much more than what u wear or how u dress.
it is the ultimate truth , which can free u from your conjecture, give meaning and purpose to your life. makes your life more colorful, recommends practices which will help u a lot in discovering who u are. your true worth and will be immensely beneficial for u once u leave this sensory world.
finally regarding your queries and worry most if not all are mere conjecture popping up in
your mind . some of these issue like what if i make mistakes, or whether others will approve me or not etc, i have discussed it in my previous reply u can read it above
wish u all good luck
Navazad
naveedazad2013@outlook.com
Best Wishes ladies..
This is amazing <3
I’m sorry if I offend anyone but I don’t completely agree to this.
Ok I’ll be completely honest I sometimes wear the hijab and sometimes I don’t. And that is wrong of me because I should wear it all the time. But getting young girls to some extent believe that it would be OK to wear a crop top. Or tell someone to sthu because they have a opinion .. or try to tell you that’s not the right path, is wrong!
If you hide in the closest to eat, when you are on you periods! Then that’s just your stupidly, because Islam doesn’t say hide in your closet! your your just not meant to eat in front of someone who is fasting … we shouldn’t let ourselves believe the things that we want to believe. .. we CHOULD remember that; yes we are supposed to wear hijab/ pray etc.. but if we don’t then that’s our choice! It’s not necessarily the right way of Islam. Just because we want our wrong doings to be right , does not mean we are right on the path in Islam. . I’m sorry if I offended anyone with my opinion. .
I am ready to convert and would like guidence to do so and also I need Muslims sisters
Dear sister,
This 15 these 15 things are follow a real muslim women.
Islam making a woman like a queen. There some point are right but maximum are wrong. So, I will advise you that do not follow these point. If you love islam and want to convert our religion then you should read first The Holy Quran and Al-Hadith. Sometime you will not understand the holy quran when you read. Then you can contract any islamic brother who know islam better.
If you do not follow my advise and convert to islam and follow these 15 point that means you only change your religion not your life.
Dear sister,
These 15 things are not follow a real muslim women.
Islam
making a woman like a queen. There some point are right but maximum
are wrong. So, I will advise you that do not follow these point. If you
love islam and want to convert our religion then you should read first
The Holy Quran and Al-Hadith. Sometime you will not understand the holy
quran when you read. Then you can contract any islamic brother who know
islam better.
If you do not follow my advise and convert to islam
and follow these 15 point that means you only change your religion not
your life.
Sorry for poor english.