There are no words in the English language that can explain the range of emotions I felt when I learned that Zayn Malik was leaving behind his four white backup singers in One Direction. I will miss his beautiful melodic voice and brooding glances into the camera. I think most of all I’ll miss getting news updates every week about Zayn’s new haircuts. The man’s got amazing hair.
Zayn’s white stage servants, Niall, Harry, Louis, and Liam have not yet expressed the proper levels of grief for this event and will continue their world tour as a foursome. It’s kind of how when Michelle and Kelly thought they were going to be okay when Beyonce left.
Fans across the world, and by that I mean mostly me, are wondering why Zayn would abandon us at such a critical time. I mean he was smack dab in the middle of a world tour. Representatives say that Zayn left the tour early because of stress. This makes sense to me. It is incredibly stressful being that good looking and talented 24/7. As someone who is semi-good looking and exorbitantly talented I can sympathize with Zayn’s stress levels.
Others, and by others I mean idiots, say that Zayn left to join ISIS. I’m not going to even dignify that with a response. Just know that I see all of you and I’m giving some serious side eye.
Perhaps Zayn felt that the boys he called “brothers” for five years just weren’t living up to that title. During his time in 1D, Zayn was publicly and constantly mocked for being Muslim. People even believed that Zayn was secretly trying to convert his young fans when he posted several tweets about Ramadan. Not once did Lous, Liam, Niall, and Harry step in to say anything on their friend’s behalf. Most recently, Zayn was accused of cheating on his fiancee after a photo surfaced of him hugging a fan. Where were the boys then? I think I hear crickets chirping in the distance.
So now that Zayn Malik is out loose in the world, I vote that instead of starting a solo career, that he go on a worldwide mosque tour. Not to actually say anything, but just to be there for the personal benefit of everyone that loves him. Zayn, please feel free to start with the mosque I attend. I’ll bake cookies.