The Failed Saga of an Arab-Desi Love Story

  • Jekyll

    Heartfelt & beautiful

  • N.A.

    I found this to be not at par with the usual wonderful posts that MuslimGirl puts here. There are very raw, real discussions that critically examine intersecting issues of racism, sexism, and cross-anthropological currents within the very complex dynamics of Muslim society here in North America.

    This story is filled with over-generalizations and unwarranted assumptions that I’m shocked MuslimGirl would be ok with putting here, since it made me very uncomfortable about the idea of what racism, what countering racism is, and also what it means to have a constructive conversation with two groups of people that do not see eye-to-eye with each other on something as difficult to talk about as interracial relationships.

    It almost feels like a stereotypical, laughable self-congratulating self-righteous article about how this woman is not racist, but her parents are so “oppressive” that belongs more on sites like Muslim Matters than here. Doesn’t MuslimGirl poke out the holes in the idea that someone isn’t racist because they ‘listen to amr diab?’ It almost feels like one of the arguments from annoying Muslim men who say that they believe in women’s rights because they respect Khadija and Aisha as prominent figures — and somehow that makes them exempt from any self-examination of their own sexist/patriarchal actions. It makes me uncomfortable, as a desi, to read that entire paragraph as a statement that they are not prejudiced against Arabs because they invest time in their culture. We know that is an uncomfortable statement in general (‘our culture is not your costume’), so why is it ok to post here?

    The question about our parents not on par with children is something that deserves its own article, perhaps even a series of articles, and I’m sure MuslimGirl has written something about it somewhere — I’ll definitely look for it in the future. I definitely do not see that sort of critical engagement here, but I do understand that this is a personal story and it’s not expected to solve the world’s problems in one article.

    Also, number one phrase that bothered me — ‘centuries of conflict.’ What are the “centuries of conflict” between Arab and Desi cultures — I’m shocked that the editors would be ok with putting such an unexamined phrase on their site. This statement cannot just stand on its own without some greater discussion on what exactly she is talking about. The Mughals? Ethnocentric dynamics? Although my education on the history of South Asia and the Middle East is limited to what I learned in a few history classes I took during my undergraduate years, I feel compelled to ask where I can learn more deeply about the centuries of conflict that I seemed to not have understood in my own education.

    Am I being too nitpicky here? I apologize, this article rubbed me off the wrong way. I generally appreciate all the articles I read on this site, and this article made me feel quite uncomfortable.

    • Hah

      High standards? lol, really?

      This seems like par for the course actually. I think the vast majority of these articles are fictional, probably lifted out of some liberal feminist think tank out in DC, with just a smattering of cultural terms thrown in. Think of this site like McDonalds rolling out in different places. They will localize but it’s the same food and same corporate policies driving it.

      If she knows Arabic what’s really the issue? She would only speak Arabic or English. The other generalities are also a little laughable.

      And to claim this is unique is also pretty laughable. Pretty much every Muslim in the West speaks English and knows more about Western culture than anything else. It’s actually far more surprising to see someone that doesn’t assimilate. The vast majority of females especially completely assimilate, that’s one reason US policy is focused on males, because the males are thought not to in general assimilate.

  • H.A.

    oh im not racist i like amr diab